How to Make a Panera Double Bread Bowl at Home
Soup and soup delivery systems continue to evolve, and as Jezebel reported earlier this week , Panera is making soup eating something completely insane by providing us with a soup bowl with not one but two compartments.
Your first urge may be to fill both compartments with soup, but Panera encourages you to live a little and add some pasta. Panera also recommends that you share this “with your best friend, significant other, or even a colleague,” but I think it’s best to use it alone, under a bridge, with a shawl, to protect yourself from the eyes of God (or Satan).
Since capitalism is a system that continues to fail us at every turn, this postmodern art project / food will only be available in Philadelphia (which is suspicious, this is where A.A. Newton lives) from August 5 (my birthday!) To 31 August. … Unless you live in Philadelphia and need your own double bread bowl, you will have to (strong words) make your own. Here’s how to do it:
Step 1. Give up your arrogance (and get some bread)
Watch. You are about to make a bread trough and probably put mac and cheese in it, so you better line up with yourself. Look at the face on your head in the mirror and say, “I’m going to make a double bowl of bread,” to completely release every last drop of ego.
Then go to the bakery and buy a fairly large oblong piece of bread (not a baguette), such as a French boule, a thick batard, or a loaf of sourdough. Size matters here, and the large energy of the bread is not enough; the loaf should really be pretty big.
Step 2: prepare the bowls
Using a sharp, thin blade – not a bread knife because we don’t cut – cut two 3-inch holes about an inch and a half apart. Remove the corks from the bread and eat them, or set them aside for later.
Draw out more bread until you have two voids, large enough to hold the amount of soup and cheese noodles you would like to put in your body. Prepare croutons from torn pieces of bread by frying them in butter. Try not to break the wall between the two bowls, or it will be a disaster. (No, it will not.)
Step 3: fill the holes
So now it’s time to just shove food inside for more food. If you’re worried about the soup getting soaked in the bread, you can dye the carbohydrate chasm with a little room temperature butter (or mayonnaise) to create a hydrophobic layer, or I think you can put in a few slices of cheese. It does not matter. None of this matters.
Pour hot soup one way – this kid was holding a whole can – and put the mac and cheese on the other, then decorate it to try and give it a respectable look. Grab two spoons, find a buddy to share your creation with, and understand that you’ve never been more lonely.