I Am Tami Sigmund, Senior Producer at Zynga, and I Am a Parent.
Tami Sigmund is a Senior Producer at Zynga , a social games developer who brought us FarmVille , Words With Friends 2 , Zynga Poker and CSR Racing 2. As someone who has been creating video games for the past 11 years, she wants to help build the gaming industry. a more open space for marginal gaming enthusiasts. She talks to us about how to balance her career and be a homosexual single mother for a two and a half year old boy. That’s how her parents are.
Name: Tami Sigmund. Location : Austin, Texas. Job: Senior Producer, Zynga Inc. Family: me, my son Henry (almost 3 years old) and our rescue laboratory – Queso mix.
Tell us a little about your family and your career. Was life mostly according to plan or were there any surprises?
Almost everything in my life did not go as planned, and otherwise I would have had nothing! After graduating from high school, I had several unsuccessful attempts to go to college in my specialty until I got into the nursing program. Throughout school, I was fueled by a (possibly unhealthy) obsession with EverQuest, and I ran a now defunct video game blog. I made several contacts in the industry and ended up getting an offer to lead the community for the new gaming startup Metaplace in 2007. I was faced with the decision to walk away from two years of nursing school and pursue dreams that I had never dreamed of. I don’t even understand what I had. I jumped at the opportunity, moved to San Diego, and have since worked on games for companies like PopCap, Playdom, Disney, Riot, and now Zynga.
On the way, I met my (now former) husband, our boy was born in September 2015. The child was planned, but the divorce soon afterwards was not. I moved to Austin last summer with my son and best friend and am now juggling life as a full-time video game producer while raising kids like a boss with my dad, who still lives in San Diego.
Tell us about your morning routine. What are your best tricks to get out the door?
I control literally every aspect of our life with a routine, which is probably a consequence of the fact that I earn my living as a producer.
In the morning I usually wake up at 6:30 so I can shower and by 7:00, when Henry usually wakes up, I can look decent for work. Sometimes he wakes up early and I have to set him up in my room with an episode from Daniel Tiger so I can finish my preparations without him throwing my makeup down the toilet. I put him on the pot, we brush our teeth, and I put him on. Sometimes things go smoothly and we go down by 7:30 for breakfast. On other days, every step of the process involves some kind of fight, and we don’t finish or start eating until 8:00 am.
My best trick is that I make choices every step of the way. When it’s time to get dressed, I let Henry choose what clothes he wants to wear, so it’s “his decision.” As I walk down the stairs, I ask him if he wants me to carry him, or if he wants to walk on his own, but I never let go of going down the stairs. In fact, I always tune him into what he should do to me, and he himself decides how he wants to do it. I also avoid confrontation and temper tantrums. While it might make me seem like a breeze and hopefully won’t turn my child into a spoiled boy, it’s the only way to get through the morning without turning into an hour-long crisis. Oh kids.
I take him to school by 8:30 (five minutes from home), and then by 9 o’clock in the office.
How much outside help do you get as a parent? Who or what cannot you live without?
I am getting decent outside help. Although I don’t have a family here in Texas, Henry’s father is the ideal distance parent. We decided in advance that everything we do will be in Henry’s best interests. He was never used as a pawn or a weapon. We are very polite, especially when Henry is around. His father often flies to Austin, and we spend time with the whole family, go to the zoo or playgrounds, all three of us. We spend big holidays together with the whole family. His father provides sufficient financial support, pays for half of Henry’s preschool, and handles special affairs with him. It is important for us that even without the traditional home environment, Henry does not feel that what he has is “less than”.
I also live with my longtime best friend Kaitlyn, who helps me a lot. She is the one who gives me those five minutes to calmly use the toilet. She can pick it up for me from school when I’m tied up at work, and she is often available for babysitting at the last minute if I need to run errands or have a little fun without the kids. Henry calls her “Auntie” and they love each other very much.
My parents are always ready to help when they visit, and Henry loves to talk to his grandparents on Facetime. It’s nice that technology offers him the ability to know them and maintain a relationship, despite the distance.
And finally, I absolutely could not live without preschool education. Henry goes to an open-air farm school inspired by Walldorf, which offers him the homely atmosphere I would like to give him if I were a regular staying parent. It is a peace of mind that I really cannot appreciate and I only based my residence on this school.
What gadgets, apps, charts, or tools do you rely on?
For a family of techies, we have quite a few tools! The iPad is a godsend when we travel on airplanes, travel by car, or get our haircut. I used the decal table when we started potty training, but that lost its influence as a motivation once Oreo became familiar with Henry’s life. Not sure if this counts as a gadget, but Henry’s kitchen assistant helps me a lot. This allows him to participate in cooking and also allows me to cook food for him without exerting any influence on him.
And personally, I live or die using YNAB (You need a budget) to manage my finances. I have never been good with money, but YNAB makes me feel like a financial genius, and it has seriously changed my life.
Has the way you work changed the way you become a parent?
Oh my god, yes. The video game industry is demanding, known for its long hours and hardships, neither is right for me. I have to work as efficiently as possible, although luckily my office offers a lot of flexibility. I am in the office from 9am to 5pm (very rare for games, especially as a producer) and I really need to get the most out of this time. When I’m at work right now, my power switch is always on and I load a ton of work a day. Not that I was slouching before, but in both my home and work life, it takes a certain level of rigorous organization to keep a strong hold as a working single parent.
How do you unpack?
My decompression usually occurs after Henry goes to bed and I spend the night cleaning the house. It starts at about 8 pm when I decide how I want to spend the next two hours of my life. Often at night this is the time when I catch up with work that I could not finish during the day. Sometimes at night I can actually immerse myself in a video game (currently: God of War ) or watch a TV show (currently: Dear Black Men Sharp Objects ).
On weekends, I admittedly don’t get enough “my time.” I try to schedule a babysitter one night a week to go to karaoke or watch a movie, but I get home early because mom’s time starts early. When Henry actually decides to take a weekend nap, I often spend him doing chores that I can’t get done while he’s awake. And almost every night around 10:00 pm, I dive into a book on my Kindle (currently: Stephen King’s new book The Outsider ), but I’m usually sound asleep by 10:30 pm. I kind of learned to live without much decompression. time in constant stress, I suppose.
What are you most proud of as a parent?
I could probably say something like “when my son first pooped on a pot!” (which was two days ago, by the way) or “his first day at preschool,” but honestly my biggest parenting moment was the decision to move to Austin and actually quite smooth implementation of that plan with a 20 month old in as an educator. one mom. I firmly believe that moving here was one of the best parenting decisions I could ever make, because here I can allow him to give him the quality of life I want for him. In beautiful San Diego, this would be a constant struggle. Although I love California and miss it very much, I do not see a future there where I can combine home life and work without any suffering.
What moment are you least proud of?
Torn from the scene in The Handmaid’s Tale , I was guilty of giving Henry a dose of motrin for a mild fever and sending him to school. I think this is one of those things that most working parents have to do at least once, and they never talk about it because they have time limits for sickness and leave benefits. My son always comes first in my life, but my job is what pays the bills and provides for it. Henry also has a periodic fever syndrome called PFAPA, which means he will have an autoinflammatory fever that is not contagious and does not cause him any distress. I felt guilty all day doing this and picking him up early from school, but it gave me enough time to get to an important meeting. Life is hard sometimes.
What do you want your child to learn from your example?
I have a peaceful parenting philosophy, and while I certainly cannot claim that I am perfect, I do believe that, for the most part, I set Henry a good example. I bring him up the way I want him to behave in his life. I never yelled at him and will save this in case safety is important. I explain things to him in detail, using many of Janet Lansbury’s methods to treat him like someone who can understand things beyond his years.
What are your favorite family rituals?
We don’t actually have a ton of hard-coded rituals yet, but I will say that being outdoors is everything for us. We are very active on weekends and holidays, spending time outdoors exploring new playgrounds, hiking, going to the zoo, water areas, fairs, theme parks, etc. Fortunately, Austin is a great city for outdoor activities. air, even if it is 102 degrees at 20:00. I even have a blog about the adventures in the nature, that I should update …
Has anyone ever given you parenting advice that you really liked?
This is not from someone I know, but this article, which explains the “train analogy” for tantrums, is an incredible piece that I remember every week in my brain when we are going through a difficult moment. It is simple: “Difficult feelings are tunnels, and we are trains going through them.” In my life, it’s entirely my fault that I often ignore my own feelings, avoid confrontation, and try to avoid difficult emotions. This can be a problematic way to deal with feelings, especially parenting boys, so I’m thinking about the idea of a tunnel and how it gets to the other side. Stopping and reversing is not an option – it is a full drive to deal with the situation.
What’s the hardest part about being a single parent?
Everything? Haha, just kidding. Honestly, from a logistics point of view, the hardest part is when we are both sick. We had an especially tough weekend when we both got gastrointestinal illness (thanks, preschool!) And the two of us were constantly nauseous. It’s damn hard to see your child sick and caring for a sick child, but when you’re sick too … it’s a special kind of hell. Plus, just being on all the time is hard. Having to be the person who handles every waking up in the middle of the night, every waking up in the morning, every meal, every source of entertainment is a mind-boggling amount of tireless work. Obviously worth it, but I can’t even remember what it feels like to be boring.
What’s your favorite part of the day?
Besides sleep? It’s morning. A toddler who has just slept, the potential for an exciting new day, is going to have a coffee together, go to a swimming lesson. At the end of each long day, I’m a jaded mess, but in the morning it’s all over again with a clean slate.
What do you think about kids and video games?
I feel the same way about video games as I do about television and films. There are many irrelevant things, and there are wonderful things as well. I tend to rely on Common Sense Media guidelines when researching games I haven’t played. My son is still too young for video games, but I definitely hope he wants to do them when he gets older. Personally, I will lean towards games that encourage the creation of things ( Minecraft , Trove ) or puzzle-solving ( Professor Layton , Zelda ) rather than violence. There are so many cool games without gore and weapons. Older kids will inevitably run into Fortnite, Call of Duty or GTA, and my advice in this area is to sit down with your kids and play these games with them if you think they can handle the content. Talk to them about games. And beware of voice chat games, because heck other kids are unattended with microphones.
The only thing I would like to say to other parents who are pursuing a career:
Don’t compare yourself to your peers. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of wondering if your outcome will be lower than your childless peers because you have a family to think about. Don’t blame yourself when you have to stay at home with a sick child or spend less time at work. All life is a balance, and each person’s pendulum oscillates differently at different points in life. The quality of your work does not depend on how much time you spend there – the internal motivator for having children to support can often be fire, which other employees do not have.