Should You Tell Your Parents How Much You Earn?
After the first job offer, the first thing I did was call my parents. I ran through the pros and cons, explained how it would help my career, and was amazed at the thought that somehow I had found a full-time job in journalism with benefits and everything. It seemed too good to be true.
We also discussed salary in detail. We are quite open about money and money problems, and I wanted to know their opinion on whether I can live off what I am offered. Since then, we have discussed every pay raise.
Some of the friends I spoke to felt the same way. They said it was helpful to talk during wage negotiations with parents who were in their situation before, or to help them budget when they were between jobs.
But not everyone is comfortable. One friend said that this is a delicate topic that is simply inconvenient to raise, while another said that she simply did not want to know. A Lifehacker employee said her message was unaware, not for any specific reason, other than that it was a taboo that others shared.
It is normal and encouraged when parents talk to their children about money. “One of the many difficult challenges parents face is helping their kids develop healthy relationships with money,” wrote Brianna McGurran, personal finance expert at NerdWallet , in an email. “This includes discussing budget and savings, even when they are small, and sending a message that money is not the most important thing in life and not something that is scary to avoid.”
The reverse situation can be complicated for a number of reasons. Some people feel stressed about not living up to their parents’ expectations, while others may be uncomfortable making more money than their parents.
But it’s probably a good idea to discuss your income with your parents, especially when you’re just starting out. Alexander Lowry, professor of finance at Gordon College, supports this idea, saying that more people should discuss personal finance openly and honestly. If you have a close relationship, it can provide insight or offer an alternative perspective on money management that you might not have thought of.
“I find it natural for parents and children to be of counsel and assistance to each other,” says Lowry. “And this role is especially important for things that are sensitive enough that you feel uncomfortable discussing them with strangers.”
However, Lowry, who is the director of the school’s Master of Science in Financial Analysis program, acknowledges that there are situations you might not want to share, such as when your parents are obsessive or “don’t want to let you be autonomous.” “
“The main situation where I would recommend not sharing this information is when your parents have a very different attitude to money than you do, and therefore discussing this topic may be more likely to lead to conflict than to new understanding,” he adds. …
It can also get complicated if you make more money than your parents, or if they asked you to help them out in the past . In this case, it makes sense to downplay your earnings. And if they just aren’t involved in your life, you probably aren’t discussing finance.
Karen J. Lee, a certified financial planner from Georgia, says you, too, should be careful if you grew up in a home that was highly competitive in terms of money and success.
“If you have siblings who are on a financial train crash and your parents know how well you are doing, your phone may start ringing for help,” adds Lee.
But if your parents are supportive and understanding, discussing money early on can facilitate further financial discussions – for example, if at some point they need to ask you for money . You will all know what to expect, and having a frank and honest conversation with them about money can lead to less anxiety and healthier relationships for everyone.