Get Rid of Bad Habits With a Counter-Intuitive Approach
Welcome back to Mid-Week Meditations , Lifehacker’s weekly dip in the pool of stoic wisdom and a guide to using its waters to meditate and improve your life.
The choice of this week was made by Epictetus in his Conversations . He suggests that quitting habits sometimes requires adverse actions:
“And since a strong habit leads, and we are used to using desire and aversion only for things that are not in the power of our will, we must oppose this habit with the opposite habit …”
Here’s another version:
“Whatever you make it habitual, practice it; and if you do not want to do something familiar, do not practice it, but accustom yourself to something else. “
What does it mean
If you want to get rid of a bad habit, try doing something new or develop a new good habit that contradicts your bad habit. Or better yet, try the opposite approach to what you usually do. My favorite version of this quote from Epictetus, featured in The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman, is also the simplest:
“What help can we find in the fight against habits? Try the other way around! “
What to take from there
Nothing can be fixed if you try the same solutions over and over. Consider all approaches, even the opposite of what you initially thought was right. Sometimes the most illogical solution is the best answer to your problem.
Difficulty falling asleep? Try what I call an overnight approach. Think back when you were kids and you and your friends were determined to “stay up all night!” How did it usually go? Stop sleeping so hard and try to stay awake instead . This shifts your focus away from the problem so that you can finally relax and be distracted. Have you eaten too many candies? Don’t try to restrain yourself from eating, you will just want it even more. Eat as much as you can until you feel sick. Nobody wants to eat Skittles after vomiting furiously from rainbows all night (trust me). If you continue to have bad dates with people who seem to you to be your type, perhaps try to meet someone who, on paper, seems completely inappropriate to you. You may be surprised how much chemistry you can have with someone who has different interests and views. Maybe opposites do attract?
Obviously, this is not the best approach to solving all problems. It’s okay to trust your gut and stick to the course most of the time. But if you don’t get anywhere with your traditional approaches, stop being so stubborn and at least consider the opposite tactics. Your intuition can sometimes be your worst enemy.