Rainy Day Rebranding
As trite as it may be, children are actually like tiny sponges, which is the coolest and scariest thing for parents. How you react to situations, including the words you choose, can help shape their worldview for life. No pressure!
Even interactions that seem insignificant can be very significant. Take talking about the weather, for example. In Titan’s Tools: Tactics, Routines and Habits Billionaires, Icons, and World-Class Performers , a book of interviews by Tim Ferriss, author and former child chess prodigy Josh Waitzkin offered parents this advice: Change the language around rainy days.
“One of the biggest mistakes I noticed in [my son’s] Jack’s first year was parents who unproductively talked about the weather, good or bad. When it rained, you heard mothers, nannies, fathers say: “The weather is bad. We cannot go outside, “and if it weren’t for him,” The weather is good. We can go out. ” This means that somehow we externally rely on ideal conditions to be able to go out and have a good time. So, Jack and I never missed a thunderstorm, rain or snow to go out and frolic in it. Maybe we missed one when he was sick. We designed this language based on how beautiful it is. Now that the rainy day comes, Jack says, “Look, Dad, it’s such a lovely rainy day,” and we go out and play at that time. I wanted him to have this inner locus of control, so as not to be dependent on external conditions , which are just like that. “
As someone who lives in Southern California and regularly claims that the park is “too cold” every time the temperature drops below 72 degrees, it amazes me. As the Norwegians say: “Det finnes ikke dårlig vær, bare dårlig klær” or “No bad weather, only bad clothes.” Fine, fine. But the advice also applies to situations outside the daily forecast. Based on the observed conditions, it is easy to draw conclusions and stop there. “I got a bad mark on the test because the teacher did not explain the material well.” “I have not been successful because my industry is too competitive.” “I am unhappy because I had bad parents.” What if we shifted our focus to what we can control and help our children do that?
You can try giving your children more choices, letting them see the consequences of their choices, helping them find what they can change, and supporting the growth mindset . And when it rains, take your raincoat and boots and leave. Remember, children, there is no bad weather – only mothers like me who hate the cold.