I Made My Girl Choose Between Me and Weed

You have problems, I have advice. This tip does not contain powdered sugar – in fact, it does not contain sugar and can even be slightly bitter. Welcome to Tough Love .

This week we have a guy who doesn’t like his girlfriend smoking weed, so he proposed to her …

Mind you, I’m not a therapist or any other healthcare professional – I’m just a guy willing to talk about it the way it is. I just want to give you the tools you need to enrich your damn life. If for any reason you don’t like my advice, feel free to file a formal complaint here . So let’s get on with it.

Hi, Patrick,

I’ve been with this girl for over a year, and no matter how much we compromise, she continues to do what she claims she won’t. After New Years, she decided to quit smoking weed, but quickly changed her mind. I feel like it kills me every time she does it. She couldn’t even talk to me after she smoked one last time.

So, I took her to the place that she was talking about when we first met, made an offer and completely put my heart and soul there. I asked her to choose me or drugs, but I haven’t heard from her yet. She usually waits a few days to respond, but I can handle that kind of stress! And she claims that I wear her out with “my rules.” I feel like I am being manipulated, but I love her so much that I will do anything for her. Can she take my love, time and trust for granted? Should I block all contact information, move on and handle it myself?

She has undermined my trust many times in the past, whether it be getting out of the house or something she promised never to do. She always comes back, running to my arms, but since yesterday she has not written or talked to me, and I have the feeling that she is cheating on me or choosing a drug instead of me. It seems to me that I pass through this blind woman, and she behaves as aggressively as possible.

Regards, Not So High Guy

Hey not that tall guy:

You say it “kills you” every time she smokes weed, but my guess is that since you’ve been together for only a year, she did it before you started dating. Did you expect her to change for you? Have you had any weird suggestions that you could “fix” her terrible lack of dependence on a non-addictive substance? Whether you forced her to make a decision or not (it looks like you did), it is her decision and she can do whatever she wants. It is not her duty to try to fit into the form you have outlined. It just doesn’t fit.

So you’ve decided to propose … Wrong move, man! You don’t like who she is, so you ask her to marry you? It doesn’t make any sense. Doubling Is Not How You Solve Relationship Problems! In addition, your proposal was an ultimatum, and quite critical. Instead of a cute romantic gesture, you offered her some kind of plea bargain. As if you would forgive her for her “wrongdoings” if she wants to live under your rule. Unsurprisingly, she hasn’t answered yet. She is not manipulating you NSHG or taking your love, time, or trust for granted. She’s probably just not sure if she wants to marry someone who acts like her probation officer all the time, telling her what she can and cannot do for the rest of her life. Nobody wants that, even if you mean it.

She is more freedom-loving, loves to go out and get high from time to time, and you are more like a guy who loves in good faith and has fun. Both types of people are absolutely good, but they rarely go well together. I mean, at this point, she probably knows perfectly well that you don’t like her smoking weed, but she continues to do so anyway. I think this is your signal to move on and not strain. In addition, you clearly have some control issues worth addressing. Hell, you can’t even give her a little room to think about your vital offer / deal without assuming she’s already heating up and fucking some other dude! Stop seeing everyone else as rule breakers who don’t stick to your preferences, and start seeing people as they really are: imperfect beings who are just looking for someone to accept them. Some of them will work for you, while others will not.

That’s all for this week, but I still have a lot of frank and honest advice. Tell me what is bothering you? Does work upset you? Are you having problems with a friend or colleague? Is your love life going through rough times? Do you just feel lost in life, as if you have no direction? Tell me, maybe I can help. I probably won’t make you feel warm and foggy inside, but sometimes you need tough love. Ask a question in the comments below or email me at the address you see at the bottom of the page ( please include “TIP” in the subject line ). Or tweet me #ToughLove ! Also, DO NOT WRITE ME IF YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR INQUIRY TO OPEN . I don’t have time to answer everyone for fun. “Until next time, figure it out yourself.


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