Make Decisions Without Morality
Self-improvement is a tricky basis for making decisions. We take this phrase for granted, but what is it really talking about? That changing your lifestyle habit improves your self? This implies the moral value of your choices, labeling some habits as inherently “good” and others as “bad.” It ends with the thought that your lifestyle affects your intrinsic worth and value as a person. And honestly, it sucks.
We all have many imperfect habits. We leave dishes in the sink, we don’t eat vegetables, we spend time on phones. But these habits are bad because they have bad consequences – bugs in the kitchen, vitamin deficiency, crippling melancholy. Likewise, good habits work well: keeping your home tidy can calm you down, and exercise can help relieve back pain or anxiety.
But these habits have no moral value. And they don’t define your worth as a person.
So, as we enter the new year, resolutions flash, here’s a challenge: can you make a decision without moralizing? Is it possible to want to change yourself, not believing that you are bad before the changes? (Do you still want to follow through with your decision if you accept that it doesn’t make you better?)
Instead of labeling change as fundamentally good, try to understand the practical benefits. This will inspire you to stick with the changes in the first place, even if it’s difficult. But it will also soften the blow when you almost inevitably go wrong. A person who eats Cheetos is not morally inferior to a person who eats carrot sticks, he just lives a different life.
If you cannot understand the practical benefits of a decision you want to make, this is a signal to take a step back and consider whether your permission is really valuable to you. Weight loss is a common reason here – we are so trained to think we need to be slimmer that we often don’t think about why . (This means that we often feel like we should be thinner when… maybe it doesn’t matter.) And when we moralize what should be a neutral personal lifestyle choice, we put our self-esteem at the cut.
Bad habits already make you feel bad about their negative consequences – stomach aches from unhealthy food, smoker’s cough, worries about spending too much money, etc. You don’t have to hold a referendum on your value as an individual at the same time.