Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade Sucks and No One Should Watch

If you have a free Thanksgiving morning, you should either relax or cook. Don’t include the pointless three-hour commercial known as Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade.

I don’t want to hear complaints about how you like the parade. This is exactly what Macy’s wants you to think. What if I told you that you don’t have to watch the bloated characters float by in a giant showcase of commercialism? Oh, this is this character that I have to like, because when I like it, the company makes a profit. Oh, great, this is the character that my children will remember about the existence, and then they will ask me for toys from it all day while I cook. No thanks.

And then at the end of the parade, Santa? Seriously? Not only is it not even December, but on this day we are now celebrating another holiday . One that doesn’t revolve around giving gifts or lying to children. Oh look, kids, Santa is here, you can tell them. Why? Because the department store wants your eyes to watch its TV show. Not because it makes sense for Santa to come to New York on his one day off during his busiest season of the year.

The whole parade is just one giant ad, and you know what I do when this ad is shown on TV? I skip them.


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