There Is Only One Right Time to Eat Thanksgiving Dinner.

The right time for Thanksgiving dinner is 4:00 pm.

This gives the host enough time to cook whatever they left behind until the last minute, such as the salad that no one wants and the cranberry sauce that no one eats. This gives them enough time to make a last-minute decision to make a green bean casserole because they had a panic about not having enough food.

4:00 p.m. lets those people who chose to wait to hit the road until Thursday – you know, those who were so smart they gathered their entire brood at 4 a.m. to sit in traffic all day – enough time to get there there.

It’s early afternoon.

Noon is the time for lunch, not dinner, and this is Thanksgiving dinner . Noon is also too early because this is everyone’s first day off since summer, and they still have traffic jam at noon.

14:00 is too early.

We’ll have a brunch around noon and at 2 we won’t go hungry.

6:00 pm is too late.

By 6:00 pm, everyone gets bored, they have nothing to talk about, they are either drunk or hungry, or both. Those people who watch football will watch football no matter what time you serve dinner, so don’t worry about them. They’re going to eat in front of the TV, or they’ll make you blow it up, ruining the part where you go and say what you’re grateful for.

20:00 – a crime.

No one digests food before bed, and people who only come home once a year want to go visit their high school friends at the bar by this time. All of their high school friends ate at 4, which is the right time, so everything is already catching up, and then you go there and feel strange, as if they are my friends, people who really understand me, but somehow we are not in sync. Now you have a life of your own, you have a whole life separate from these people that you tell yourself about, but still feel lonely.

There is only one correct time to have lunch on Thanksgiving, and that time is 4:00 pm.


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