How to Survive Your Child’s Holiday Concert

Daylight dims, temperatures drop, snow flies. This is the season of crazy shopping, grumpy family get-togethers and super kid concerts.

You will soon receive an email asking you to attend a secular solstice celebration, a joint celebration, or an old-fashioned instrumental cacophony. You won’t go because you want to, but because it’s part of the deal. The kids worked so hard !!!! They are so happy to perform for you !!!!!

It may be true, but if your kid doesn’t go to fame school, it sucks. Here’s how to turn a brief grief into a lasting memory.

Go to your happy place

Okay, maybe I got the wrong foot. Stop negative thoughts before they get out of hand. Instead of thinking, “It’ll suck,” say, “That’ll suck,” in Donald Duck’s voice. You will flip the frown and shake off awkward small talk with anyone within earshot. Or try something more subtle, like a stress ball or meditation .

You might think these relaxation techniques are overkill, but after being scolded by your boss for leaving early, parked five blocks from the school, curled up in a tiny chair, and felt nauseous from the overheated odor of 900 bodies in the room. in the cafe, do not be surprised if you realize that you are repeating “Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Follow the rules

Long before the sugar plum fairies swing in their pirouettes, a responsible adult will walk up to the microphone, touch it three times, and greet you poor fellows at Parkside Elementary. This person will be overly excited (the kids have worked so hard !!!! ), so it will be easy to turn off the content of the message. Pay attention! These are the visiting rules! Modeling good behavior will help keep children in check.

Do not shout or shout when Junior appears. Don’t clap your hands when you’re not supposed to. Be calm, respectful, and considerate. I have seen many parents go into hysterics at the sight of their child on stage, who jumped up and down, waving his arms. Your child read two sentences about Mayflower in a cardboard hat. He didn’t win a Kia Soul on “The Price Is Right . Cold.

Don’t pick up the phone

I know how it is. You want to make sure Clark comes back to you about this version of the Power Point. You check your email very quickly, but then your monkey dopamine brain takes over and you decide to see if anyone liked your funny tweet. (No.) Pretty soon you mutter curses about the President under your breath, and Junior’s solo triangle comes and disappears while you’re busy staring at your cute hate machine.

You are probably looking at this too much . Take this opportunity and take a 60-minute break from technology. Wait, how long does it take for a jazz band to rock on ” Rockin ‘Around the Christmas Tree” ? How many verses are in this song? Ooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Actually watch

Not through the viewfinder or screen. Through your eyes. Experience life! If you want a photo, take it after the performance. Have a fancy camera? Just use one lens. Do art in your spare time.

The footage of this offensive G-rated revisionist production of the Thanksgiving story will never be viewed, so don’t bother to tape it. I’m glad someone got the chance to record a serious cymbalist, and I want the classic Jack Hitt story, This American Life , to be on YouTube. But you are unlikely to witness a hilariously terrible performance. It’s going to be just awfully mediocre, and it wo n’t lead you to Tosh.0 , which, surprisingly, is still up to date.

Cook warm fluffs

When all is said and done, hug the child tightly and praise him. Be specific. Instead of “It was great!” say, “I’ve never seen a more graceful dancing snowman!” True, the kids will be super excited to perform for you. They memorized the lines, sewed silly costumes and moved more or less in sync, which was like dancing. For people who do not yet know how to write cursive, this should be counted as an achievement.

If you’re a parent who loves the praise sandwich, give it up altogether , but especially now. The younger doesn’t want to hear, “If you projected more into the climax, you would laugh even more.” He wants to bask in the stage light. He’s a sweet boy, but you never have to worry about being chewed up by Hollywood, and you both know that.


My children spent the first years of their lives in the south. I don’t know if this is typical for this region, but parents came to these performances with flowers for their little artists. I’m not talking about filling roses in a tube. I mean bouquets of beauty contest winners. This is a good Facebook post, but most kids would prefer something else.

I suggest ice cream, donuts, freshly baked cookies, or any other sweets that are usually off limits for your child. Because today is an unusual day. This is the day he (sort of) demolished the house in a very special performance. Both of you will remember this forever, so resort to extra splashes.


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