How to Achieve Your Life Goal and Stop Wasting Precious Time Here on Earth
You have problems, I have advice. This tip does not contain powdered sugar – in fact, it does not contain sugar and can even be slightly bitter. Welcome to Tough Love .
This week we have a trust fund kid who is confused about what to do with himself in terms of his career.
Mind you, I am not a therapist or any other healthcare professional, but just a guy who is willing to talk about it the way it is. I just want to give you the tools you need to enrich your damn life. If for any reason you don’t like my advice, feel free to file a formal complaint here . So let’s get on with it.
Hi, Patrick,
I am a 30 year old woman and I have no direction in life. I received my Bachelor of Science in Soft Science from a major university (graduated from Magna Cum Laude) and then was accepted for doctoral studies. But something struck me, right before I had to move to the city where the doctoral program is running, that I really didn’t want to pursue my specialty anymore, so I called the admissions office and gave up my place, ahh, and that where my career / life trajectory ended abruptly.
I have a significant legacy that allowed me not to work completely if I so choose, and I have been doing this for the last 5 years. Now I feel that despite my good brain and general curiosity about life, the universe and everything else, I have no skills to offer, I am far behind in terms of being a welcome new employee for everyone, and I am at I generally have no desire to return to the professional world unless I find a way to earn my living by curiosity. I’m a big fan of science and find miracles in both everyday objects and space concepts, but I also have an artistic side that constantly requires learning and liberation. I have a long-term male partner and two cute, addicted dogs that I enjoy taking care of, and I love to cook, read, listen and learn something new, and I managed to turn it all into my daily routine, which turned out to be very comfortable, lightweight and VERY hard to break free.
But I want to be an astronomer (an astronaut would be even better), paleontologist, cultural anthropologist, saddle maker, climatologist, sculptor, science writer, entrepreneur, … I want to do so many things! How can I get back on track, be productive, but do it on my own terms, so that I feel like I’m doing something nice and good for myself, and I don’t fall into the heartbreaking pit of bad work Hell? What can / should I do with myself? Should I take up writing or podcasting or graduate with no career goals? My freedom of choice and my reluctance to interfere with the daily fight are causing complete paralysis. My life, once full of possibilities, has turned into a sad crawl, and I feel helpless in the face of my own inaction.
Regards, Brooding
Hey, thought :
I get a lot of advice like yours. So much so that I’m starting to believe that the normal human condition these days is to feel completely lost, especially people your age. In my opinion, people who have been determined to do one thing in their entire lives and manage to stay focused on the laser all the time are eccentric. So don’t worry too much, Stay alive. You are completely average.
You are lacking in purpose . This is what makes us work rather than play, create rather than destroy, calm down and raise families instead of staying independent, and what keeps us from exploding as soon as we get into a difficult period. Goal gives us a sense of satisfaction, and that makes us happy. But the goal is not what you find, it is what you create . This is how you get started:
- Accept that you have no goal. You are an animal living on a rock, floating around a star in a huge galaxy, drifting in a universe that doesn’t care about you. You are nothing, and therefore you had no other purpose than to live, reproduce and die. It is an absolute miracle that we have even achieved the ability to think about how lost we feel. Hold on to this.
- Now that you’ve come to terms with the fact that you don’t have a goal outlined by the universe – be careful not to slide into an existential crisis here – you can assign one to yourself. After all, when nothing matters, you can choose what matters. To do this, all you have to do is look inside yourself and see what you really don’t care about. It can be anything as long as you genuinely care about it. It can be broad, such as “learn” or “tell stories.” Or it could be more specific, such as “bake exceptional cupcakes” or “become a pro marathon runner.” It doesn’t matter what it is. It doesn’t bother anyone but you.
- Take what you care about and figure out how you can apply yourself to it in the real world. You say you want to be “curious.” This is a good start, but you need to figure out ways to do it. It doesn’t matter how it ends, as long as it encourages you to get out of bed in the morning and give it a try. This Lost in Thought is your goal, and it is special because you just made it yourself.
You will never escape from your comfortable routine, Lost one, until you dare to take the first step. Just take the first big step and break this routine completely. However, before you do that, you need to narrow down the issues. Warren Buffett has a great exercise for this :
- Write down 25 of your main career goals on one piece of paper.
- Circle just your top five.
- Place the top 5 on one list and the remaining 20 on the second.
Now, you might think you’ve made a list of primary and secondary goals. You focus on your main goals, and you should only focus on secondary goals when you have time, right? Wrong! Throw out the list of 20 secondary goals. These are not secondary goals, Buffett said; these are items that should be avoided at all costs. This is what distracts you, cripples you with the paralysis of choice and prevents you from focusing on the goal you created. If a goal is not in your top five, it is not conducive to your long-term well-being.
If you’re left with the arts and saddlery, give it a try. If you’re left with science and research, try finding a job in a lab, or dive back into academic life and become a teacher. If your main goal is a podcast or writing, do it. Just whatever it is, make sure it suits your purpose, then make the sacrifices and give her your best. Or do nothing, just sit on your money and miss out on the only opportunity you have, to live the life you are looking for. Your choice.
That’s all for this week, but I still have a lot of frank and honest advice. Tell me what is bothering you? Does work upset you? Are you having problems with a friend or colleague? Is your love life going through rough times? Do you just feel lost in life, as if you have no direction? Tell me, maybe I can help. I probably won’t make you feel warm and foggy inside, but sometimes you need tough love. Ask a question in the comments below or email me at the address you see at the bottom of the page ( please include “TIP” in the subject line ). Or tweet me #ToughLove ! Also, DO NOT WRITE ME IF YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR INQUIRY TO OPEN . I don’t have time to answer everyone for fun. “Until next time, figure it out yourself.