How to Try Mutual Masturbation
In case the name is unclear, mutual masturbation is when you and your partner masturbate in front of each other. I believe this is one of the most underrated sexual acts; very few people do this, but it could be one of the most erotic experiences you have ever had.
Here’s how to add mutual masturbation to your sex repertoire.
Why You Should Try Mutual Masturbation
If you are not on board yet, let me try to convince you. Mutual masturbation has so many benefits:
- It’s incredibly exciting. In fact, there is nothing better than watching your partner touch his own body and enjoy himself.
- It bothers you less. You don’t need to worry about whether you are stimulating your partner the right way. You can just sit back and fully enjoy watching your partner in agony of pleasure.
- This will help you get used to your own masturbation. You will feel more connected to your body and more confident.
- This is something new to try in the bedroom. It’s always fun to shake up your old routines. Many people have never tried mutual masturbation before, so it can be especially exciting.
- This is the best way to teach your partner how to please you and how to help you achieve orgasm.
- For many, this is also the best way to orgasm with their partner. You may not be able to orgasm in any other way.
Where to begin
One of my favorite ways to suggest something new is to send this article to your partner with a note: “What do you think?” or “I’m curious …” Or you can just say that you are reading an article on the Internet, or a friend told you about it and you are intrigued.
Another option is to act now. As soon as your partner touches you or gives you a hand job, place your hand on his arm. As they move to other parts of your genitals, slowly relax your hand so that it mostly touches yourself. You can also turn off by letting them touch you for a minute or two and then touching yourself for a minute. Or you can try joining your body together. If you have a female body, you can touch your clitoris while your partner touches your vagina or anus, or vice versa. If you have a male body, you can stroke your penis while your partner plays with your testicles or anus, or vice versa. Or you can be more direct and say something like, “Would you like to watch me touch myself?” or “I want to show you what I do when I think about you.”
Toys are another great way to introduce mutual masturbation. Pull one out and ask your partner, “Do you want to see how I use this on myself?” Then tell them that you want to watch your partner touch themselves at the same time.
Or you can try to get your partner to go first. After taking some time to warm up, start touching your partner’s genitals. Then slowly pull your hand back and say, “Why don’t you get the upper hand for a minute?” or “I want to see how you touch yourself.” If they are nervous, let them touch you for a few seconds and then return to them. Continue alternating until they are more comfortable.
How to overcome nervousness
The idea of mutual masturbation can be unnerving at first because masturbation is taboo. Most people have masturbated their entire lives, but there is still a feeling that what we are doing is “naughty” or “wrong.” The idea of brazenly doing it outdoors in front of another person may seem a little overwhelming at first.
But this is just socialization. There is nothing wrong with masturbation. In fact, it is perhaps the healthiest, safest, and most rewarding type of sexual activity. And the meaning of the taboo is exactly what can make it so hot. Feeling like you are doing something “naughty” can be very exciting. If you are nervous trying to do this, know that your partner will almost certainly enjoy it.
There are also ways to make this a little easier at the moment. Try turning off the lights or just by candlelight so you don’t feel like it’s on display. Or watch porn together so you don’t just look at each other. Simultaneous masturbation can also be more comfortable.
Other things to try
Once you’re comfortable, there are many other ways to play with masturbation in the bedroom:
- Play with orgasm control. One partner starts masturbating. If they want to have an orgasm, they are “not allowed” to do so until their partner gives them consent.
- Try masturbating one at a time and looking at each other. This reinforces the exhibitionism / voyeurism factor.
- Surprise your partner by letting him “catch” you masturbating in bed at the end of the day. It can also be a great way to initiate sex.
- Make mutual masturbation a highlight. In other words, let the evening end like this. Don’t go into intercourse or any other default activity.
- Use mutual masturbation if you want to quickly. This can be great when you’re tired but still want to chat.