How to Deal With Social Anxiety Before a Big Event
There are many people who both crave human companionship and find it a terrifying experience full of social pitfalls. We have a lot! If you are one of those people who struggle to get out of the house even when you really want to, listen to a few tips from a therapist on how to get out of the house.
If you have experienced social anxiety, then you know that sometimes even the smallest thing can piss you off and turn a pleasant evening into a hall of mirrors with sweaty palms. In an article for Quartz, Meghan Bruno talks about her own experience of going to the party, questioning every comment she makes and constantly questioning her right to be there. It was enough for her to change her mind to try again. So, Bruno has put together a list of suggestions for what to do if you’re thinking about giving up and then marrying Netflix for a small private ceremony in the broom closet.
Bring the bud
It is not that important, because then you will have someone to talk to; it is so that you have someone to hold you accountable for last minute salvation. And Bruno doesn’t write this, but be sure to pick someone who doesn’t have the same problem. Enlisting the support of an equally worried friend who then bails you will not help.
Remember you can leave
Keep in mind that showing up is often half the battle. So just come and if you have to make a runner, no big deal:
If you’re nervous about attending a work event, make an appointment with yourself in advance that if you’re not having fun, you can leave in 45 minutes. Planning ahead can help make the events less exciting.
Bruno invites you to apologize for why you need to leave earlier than to apologize for not leaving at all. And hey, if you give yourself a way out that suits you, it’s very possible that you will come and decide that you don’t need any excuses.
Plan, plan, plan
In fact, some of Bruno’s advice can be boiled down to planning. She recommends planning an awkward silence, which means you don’t have to imagine that the evening will be perfect. When we have tremendous expectations about how things should evolve, we inevitably become frustrated, which sets us up for sudden triggers of anxiety. Consider what you will do if you cough while chewing the cheese mixture. This can be awkward and cool:
When it gets awkward, don’t panic. This is a sign that you’ve stepped out of your comfort zone and done something bold.
And if you want to dig deeper, she advises to imagine the worst case scenario. Your underwear falls on the dance floor, your hand gets stuck in the elevator, your ex shows up with your sister. Imagine these bad feelings and know that these feelings will not kill you.
She also invites you to ask a few questions to the people you meet because, in truth, most people want to talk about themselves:
Several classic: “How do you know such and such?” “I love your (insert clothes here)! Where did you get this? “” What led you to the [networking event]? ” Among the many lies that social anxiety tells us, one of the most common is that we ourselves should be interesting, instead focus on being interested in other people.
Are You Normal
Most of Bruno’s other directions are essentially reminders that most people experience social anxiety and you are not alone. Sometimes people seem stiff because they are in their personal party hell. You are okay because you are nervous about going to a noisy, crowded place full of strangers. But the trip can be the first step to finding a friend.
The Nine-Step Plan to Overcome Social Anxiety You Can’t Get Over Yourself | Quartz