How to Win on Social Media After a Breakup
Ever since this first Dear John letter was delivered by a carrier pigeon, breakups have sucked, but social media are complicating them. Even if you block, hide, and remove from friends, you can still be attacked due to an unexpected photo of your ex posted on mutual friends’ accounts. Instead of being a victim of this kind of virtual hostility, you should use the power of social media to fight back and prove to everyone that you are okay , thank you.
Lifehacker has a wicked week right now, which means we’re learning some not-so-decent methods to deal with shit. We like to think we’re shedding light on these tactics as a way to help you do the opposite, but if you’re really mean, this week might not be of any use to you. You decide.
Is it petty? Yes, but pettiness can be very pleasant, and if you haven’t reached the stage of parting “go in peace and live with love and light”, then you have the right to a cheap thrill or five thrills. Here are some ways to win on social media and win the gap that way. (Note: these are not strategies to “get someone back.” If this is your goal, please ignore all of the following.)
Hide but not block
For your posts to make your ex feel like he’s really fucked up, he needs to see them. This will not happen if you remove them from your friends, block them and make your Instagram private. You don’t want to see their shit, of course, so hide them on Facebook, cancel them on Instagram (depending on how many followers they have, they probably won’t notice), and turn them off on Twitter.
Be choosy about your selfie choices
It might be tempting to post sad sexy selfies in which you lie in bed with mascara dripping down your face to express yourself and your pain, but please refrain. In fact, while you should post pictures of themselves, very few of them have to be Self, if you do not take selfie with someone – else. Posting a photo of yourself that you clearly didn’t take proves that you are walking with other people and who knows who these mysterious man or woman behind the camera are. (Your sister probably insisted that you put on “real clothes” and look at trees or some shit, but no one will know.) Other effective photos that you should post on your various social media accounts. include:
- Photos of you doing things your ex would not like show how happy you are with your newfound freedom. You didn’t even realize how much they were holding you back.
- Photos of yourself with a cutie. Bonus points if you share a drink .
- The pictures of you doing shit they would definitely love . It is especially important that someone else is photographed here.
- Photos in which you look hot AF. It’s okay if it’s a real selfie or even a selfie in the mirror.
In addition, you should share any photos that make you look truly happy. Not only to make your ex feel bad, but also to remind yourself that you feel good .
Let any breakup humor be self-deprecating.
If you’re on Twitter, you might be tempted to tweet some real smart party-goers at the expense of the person who ripped out your still beating heart and casually threw it into a paper shredder. This is not recommended for several reasons. First, it’s just plain mean, and while it’s all about “winning” the breakup, there is no reason to be downright violent towards another person who is probably in a lot of pain. It is also tasteless and you are impartial.
But humor (augmented by some of them ) is really the best medicine in this case, and you have to joke, especially a little self-deprecating, “wow, I was such a fool then,” a kind of joke that demonstrates growth, maturity and self-awareness.
Share some songs
Last year when I got divorced, I may or may not have compiled a divorce playlist ( I did ). I didn’t share all of this on social media – it’s too obvious – but I did share a few songs from it from time to time with very subtle captions like “song of the day.” You can borrow any of my songs if you like, but choosing your own can be very cathartic.
However, if you are in dire need of guidance, let me suggest“Hurry!” The Magnetic Fields , as well as“What Do You Think You The One” and“Silver Springs” by Fleetwood Mac , because no one has ever disintegrated more spectacularly thanBuckingham and the Knicks .
Of course, you’ll end up in a place where you don’t care if your ex is spying on your Insta, or reading your tweets, or viewing old Facebook photos at 2 AM, and you won’t do these things. or. And then, my friend, you will officially win.