How to Train Children to Do Housework: a Guide for Ages
When I read statistics from a University of Maryland study that children ages six to twelve spent only 24 minutes a day on housework, 25 percent less than in 1981, my first thought was, “Where the hell , these children? find twenty four minutes ?! “
It’s all to blame for parallel extra-curricular activities, extra-curricular extracurricular activities, a parent’s need to be perfect the first time around (because who has the time to fix it?), Or the convenience of outsourcing help, but the fact is that today children spend significantly less time doing housework than previous generations. And, apparently, it matters.
A study by a Harvard grant found that people who did more housework during childhood were happier later in life. Marty Rossmann of the University of Minnesota, who analyzed data from a Longitudinal Study of Children and Housework (PDF), found that “the best predictor of success among young people in their 20s and 30s” was whether they participated in homework when they were three or four. Household work helps children to reason better, makes them less impulsive, and helps them better understand the needs of others . No one is born with these skills – instead they need to be learned and practiced, one nasty rubbing of the trash can lid at a time.
Julie Lytcott-Haims, author of How To Raise an Adult , summed it up brilliantly as she told Tech Insider : “By getting [the kids] to do the housework — take out the trash, wash them themselves — they know I have to do it. life’s work to be a part of life. It’s not just me and what I need at the moment, but that I’m part of the ecosystem. I am part of the family. I’m part of the workplace. ” Bonus: Your child won’t be that 20-year-old college student who stares blankly at the dishwasher wondering what all those buttons are for.
Here is a list of things kids can do, by age group . But how to make housework a natural part of children’s lives instead of being bribed or threatened? A perspective shift is required. Here’s how parents can approach household chores with children of all ages:
Toddlers and Preschoolers: Leverage Your Natural Enthusiasm
Young children want to do whatever the big people do, so use their enthusiasm to build a “everyone is ready” mindset, even if their ways of “helping” mean more work for you. Litcott-Haims writes in How To Raise an Adult: “If developing life skills means you know your child can pour himself orange juice and wash it down if it spills, work ethic means knowing that your child will step in and help. when someone else spills something , instead of thinking “this does not concern me” and leave. “
Elementary Students: Keep Your Expectations Low
In Wired, Laura Grace Weldon wrote about a time when her seven-year-old and nine-year-old was about to mop the floor when one of their neighbors’ friends knocked on the door asking to play. She never did housework, saw children doing housework, and asked to be turned on.
I gave them a bucket of mildly soapy water, and they got to work with the rags, jumping across the wet floor on their knees like crabs, giggling as the floor got wetter and their jerks turned into a smooth slide. Their method didn’t matter to me. I held the child and entertained him while peeling potatoes and ending a work conversation. I was pretty sure the floor would be a little cleaner when they were finished. They wiped him off with towels, pushed the furniture aside with appropriate grunts and groans, then collapsed onto the sofa. They looked completely relaxed, like people content with a job well done. I went to the phone to thank them. They admired the way the light was reflected on the floor and warned our little one to leave the drinking cup on the table.
The takeaway here is to come to terms with imperfection. Yes, it may take your child six minutes to peel a potato and still leave bits of skin on it, but still. In his book, Lytcott-Haims adds: “They are not interested if you ask them to do something and then control each step at the micro level. They won’t do it as well and effectively as you – accept it – but they will get better and better over time. “
High School Students: Help Them Be Initiative
Instead of giving your children a checklist, help them become active, independent, always contributing family members by encouraging them to look around and ask: what else can I do? Julie Lytcott-Haims writes: “By this age, you can further develop your child’s work ethic by asking them to anticipate the next steps associated with a task, or the longest sequence of related tasks, instead of waiting to be told what to do next. … … You may ask, “I want to make sure that the next time the garbage does not overflow.” What can we do about it? “
High school students: give them big projects
Teenagers can do almost any job that adults can do, and yet many parents still shield them from the most time-consuming tasks. Ask them to build this new bike for their little sister, or build an IKEA dresser, or rebuild a garage. In the end, they may look at their work and think that I did it . A pile of books for parents says that parents should not receive money from parents for doing routine tasks, although it is normal for them to earn extra money by doing difficult work – what exactly entails depends on mom and dad.
A few more tips for working with children of any age:
- Work side by side with them. Don’t pass out directives while sitting on the couch watching Netflix. This is a family effort.
- Expect their help, writes Lytcott-Haims. Don’t justify your request with lengthy explanations. The simple “I need your help” is enough.
- Thank them, but don’t overdo it with praise. No gold stars are needed to fold the shirt.