Postpartum Depression Doesn’t Always Look Sad
While watching the second episode of the new season of Black-ish, I could almost hear the collective sigh of moms on my social media channels. They went there. Heck, it did host an ABC family sitcom.
The show addressed postpartum depression, a topic that remains taboo due to its many complexities. At the beginning of the episode, the usually piquant matriarch Rainbow Johnson (played by Tracey Ellis Ross), who recently gave birth to her fifth child, is obsessed with the temperature in the house, looks at the baby monitor and worries that her new son is not breathing. , sobs on the couch with Boppy, looks nowhere, pours iced tea into an overflowing glass, and constantly denies that anything is wrong. Her dramatic change in behavior is ignored by her mother-in-law, who concludes, “This is what new motherhood looks like. She’s just weak.
What is surprising about this episode is not only that it tackles the problem of postpartum depression, which affects one in seven women , but that it touches on a critical aspect of the disorder: that it does not always manifest itself in the form of sadness. It is true that many women with postpartum depression experience sadness and crying attacks for reasons they often cannot explain (Rainbow sobs in the grocery aisle because there are too many potatoes in the bag), but there are actually a range of symptoms and diseases that fall. under the umbrella of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. However, because they do not receive the same attention as depression, women who struggle with it may feel even more overwhelmed or indecisive about seeking help.
Here are some symptoms of perinatal mood disorders that don’t always resemble sadness:
Postpartum Anxiety (PPA)
You may experience: racing thoughts, constant anxiety that you are not doing enough or that something bad will happen to your child, sleep and appetite disturbances, or physical symptoms such as dizziness and nausea. Postpartum anxiety affects as many moms as postpartum depression.
What it might be like: “I don’t know if it was because she was born in the intensive care unit, but I am constantly worried that something is a sign of some mysterious disease that will take her away from me. Sometimes it manifests itself simply as an inability to think. It feels like my head and throat are about to burst. I usually think quickly and solve problems, and now I can’t understand simple things like cleaning the house, running errands, or making lists. Everything turns to fog. This particular symptom is caused by stress. On days like this, I feel like the worst, most incapable mom in the world, because I can’t even realize that I’m just pulling my children out of the house for some business. ” —Nikki, via Romper
Rage
You may experience: extreme, uncharacteristic, blood-boiling anger caused by the slightest anxiety. You know that feelings are irrational, but you cannot stop them.
What it might be like: “One night I really lost it to Anna when she had a tantrum. I could not control the words flying out of my mouth. I wanted to hit her and make her stop (which, luckily, I didn’t). I wanted to be anywhere but there. Out of me came rage from the other world. Fortunately, Hubs was there and was able to intervene. I feel physically ill when I think about what I did and what might have happened. It was the worst feeling I have ever experienced. ” —JD Bailey, via Scary Mommy
Numbness
You may experience: Lack of connection with your child or with anything else in life. Perhaps you are just going through the motherhood movement.
What it might be like: “ In many ways, caring for a baby felt like just a job to do, and eventually I might have passed out.” Sometimes I felt like I was taking care of the child for someone else, and in the end they came to pick her up. I tried to convince myself that I was doing this for my husband, trying to keep his child healthy for him. Many nurses were beaming and saying, “Didn’t you fall in love right away?” I remember my family doctor asked me, “Is she a cute baby?” and I told her I didn’t know because I didn’t really know. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking, except that she was hungry or tired. ” —Kim, via Reddit
Scary Thoughts (OCD)
You may experience: According to Postpartum Support International , symptoms may include obsessions (also called obsessions), which are “persistent, repetitive thoughts or mental images associated with the baby,” or compulsions in which the mother may “do certain things again and again. again to reduce her fears and obsessions. “
What it might be like: “One day I was walking to the mailbox with my child wrapped in his blanket, his tiny face buried in my neck, and I thought, ‘Slap him on the cheeks. Slap him very hard and see what happens. I ran back to the house, hurrying to take my son away from me. I slowly put him on the swing, watching my every move. I was his mother and felt like his worst enemy. I was afraid that someone would take my child away from me if I told them what I was thinking. I was afraid that they would not take him away and I would hurt him. ” —Maggie Mae Ethridge, via SheKnows
If you think you may have perinatal mood and anxiety disorder such as postpartum depression, see a health professional with training in perinatal psychology. Postpartum Support International and the Postpartum Progress website are resources where you can find information and links to local experts.
If you are contemplating suicide or know someone who has committed suicide , call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline at 1-800-273-8255 or text crisis 741-741 to contact a qualified counselor immediately. on crisis situations.