How to Travel in a Group Without Wasting Time
Traveling with a group can be exhausting. There is always a danger that you will be trapped for a few hours in a store or museum that no one wants to be in, because you all politely wait for each other to finish viewing. This is a form of the Abilene paradox , where everyone has a bad plan to please each other. In this case, this is because we are not used to telling people, “I’m ready, but I don’t have to go.”
To prevent this, appoint a key person in your group. When someone in the group is ready to leave, but does not mind staying longer, they say “Yellow light” to the person in question. When everyone is lit up with yellow light, it’s time to leave.
Of course, sometimes you really want to move on. In that case, say “red light” (or just, you know, “Let’s get out of here”) and walk away. If you all agree on this beforehand, it will be easier for anyone to move forward, and it will be more difficult for one person to hold everyone back.
You shouldn’t use my strange traffic lights. And you can customize it; for example, group members might indicate, “I can take another five minutes.” The important thing is that everyone in your group understands the difference between “I am ready to leave at any moment” and “I really would like to leave now.” On a large group or on a multi-stop tour, such as a bar crawl or walking around the area, this understanding can change the whole tone of the day.
Another application is the finale of a party or meeting. While you don’t have to use the system explicitly here, you might be asking yourself: do we all stay close because we feel obligated to close the party together? Will most of us be happier at home? It’s a good way to give yourself – and each other – permission to leave.
To learn more about the Abilene paradox in general, watchthis strange old management tutorial video .