How Not to Raise a Son Like Harvey Weinstein
Hearing news of abuse and sexual harassment from people in power such as Harvey Weinstein (as well as Bill Cosby, Donald Trump and everyone else so far unnamed ), it becomes common to respond to this with a kind of resigned outrage. A couple of days ago, Mayim Bialik wrote an article on her online community GrokNation about how she was not surprised to hear about Weinstein’s accusations , writing: “Unfortunately, I guess this is what happens all the time. … “This is what power and patriarchy look like,” she says, “and it sucks.
But Bialik was pressured by her friends, who may have thought her looks looked like complacency. One friend, GrokNation editor Avital Norman Natman, asked her a question that shocked her. It was, “Will your boys be like this?” She asked Bialik if she was raising her two sons to become men who would be feared by girls and women.
Bialik had to seriously think about it, but she concludes that no, her boys are unlikely to become predators like Weinstein. In this video, she explains why and what parents can do to raise their children differently.
Several takeaways:
- Teach agreement early. Bialik tells his boys: “You have no right to touch someone if they don’t want to be touched. This applies to friends, girlfriends, neighbors, even family. And if you do not want to be touched even by your own mother , you have the right not to be touched. Absolutely, no exceptions. “
- Make sure children understand that they are responsible for where they are. Bialik says: “If you are in a place where bad things happen, go away and report it.”
- Tell the children to pay special attention to those who have not been historically respected. This includes women, people of color, members of the LGBTQ + community, and people of different socioeconomic status. These people, according to Bialik, “suffer the most from what we call patriarchy.”
You cannot single-handedly end patriarchy or rape culture, but you can help change the rules of that culture, one conversation at a time with your child. As Bialik explains, “You don’t have to complete the job, but you don’t ignore it either.”