How to Survive in Traffic With Young Children This Holiday Weekend

You guys have a long holiday weekend! That means trips to the beach, relaxing in the mountains, lakeside barbecues, and traffic problems from Seattle to Orlando. In my family, we usually decide to pack up right after Friday breakfast, but since we have two young children and we are rather disorganized, we inevitably leave at the worst time for long weekend travel: after lunch on Friday.

So that pretty much makes me an expert on getting stuck in traffic with young children. But I have learned a thing or two about how to make the journey to your destination, even if the trip is full of Paneras in Roanoke malls, and I am happy to share them with you. Hopefully they help because your left leg starts to shake after four hours of slowly releasing the clutch and walking a total of half a mile through a tunnel filled with exhaust fumes.

Try not to get stuck in traffic first.

I spoke to Sam Schwartz, a traffic engineer aka Gridlock Sam and an established NYC traffic expert, to provide advice to road strategy enthusiasts. It turns out that a professional traffic strategist doesn’t have a ton of information that amateur strategists don’t, but breaks it down succinctly according to your priorities: “If you want to take the least amount of time , you leave after 8:00 [Friday night]. If you want the best possible experience , you leave on Thursday. Thursday has become a new Friday. ” My own strategy is, frankly, bananas, he tells me, “After 3 o’clock [Friday] it’s just torture.”

Choose the best route and revisit regularly

I know everyone loves Waze , but I prefer Google Maps. For some reason, the design suits me better, and for the places where I go, I have already memorized alternative routes. But if you’re in a busy area and need constant zig-zag and bend capabilities, Waze is probably the app for you.

Get off the highway before your legs are numb and do something else.

This is probably the best thing you can do to save your sanity. Sometimes, as we drive from New York to the Delaware coast on a holiday Friday, we enter the sixth hour of our confinement around Dover, Delaware. By googling “the best playgrounds in Dover,” we got a lot of nice outdoor places to stop for a picnic and let the kids run. We recently tried out a trendy new playground at a Pennsylvania church site on our weekend drive to the West Virginia mountains — and we only had to endure ten or fifteen minutes of proselytism while the kids played. Another trip showed that the Pennsylvania National Fire Museum and the Pennsylvania Capitol are great places to stretch your legs.

There are incredible restaurants on Highway 11 in the Shenandoah Valley. Near Kos Cob, Connecticut, there is a small pond where we once played on the grass and had a picnic. We found a great diner in Rockwood, Tennessee for an incredible piece of coconut cream pie. Peru, Vermont, has a small lake perfect for toddlers where kids can splash around for half an hour while your legs recover. I often think of these stops more fondly than actual destinations. If you have time before your trip, make a list of attractions, playgrounds, and eateries along the route so you can pull the cord whenever you want.

Read

We, thank God, have recently moved out of the handbook / little golden book stage with our eldest son, and reading with him has finally become something enjoyable, not bearable. We have some good audiobooks for this summer: Harry Potter , Lemony Snicket , How to Train Your Dragon . I could put a few of my childhood favorites in there too: Little House on the Prairie , Children from the Boxcar , My Side of the Mountain . The older child is silent, and the three-year-old … is working on it. (By coincidence: My 7-year-old son also inexplicably likes “Car Talk” – he laughs when they laugh. So don’t be afraid to play your favorite adult podcasts and hope for the best.)

Play

Second line of defense: Games. As for the 3-year-old, we’re sticking with I Spy, but the elder can handle Botticelli , a two-way guessing game that’s a lot less boring for adults than our old pool of 20 questions. If children are asleep, adults play a game we made up called “Worst Job,” in which you say the name of a friend or acquaintance and describe the worst job for them; for example, for a very chatty, but rather absent-minded friend: a worker from an assembly line.

Sing

So children’s music can be overwhelming. My challenge was to find music that I, Gen-Xer, could enjoy with my 7 and 3 year olds. Fortunately or not, I was able to put together a playlist that will help us at least an hour or so of travel time. (Why they like these songs, and not others, I do not know – I think it has no less to do with some catchy narrative part. I myself remember how in childhood I loved “Poor, poor, pathetic me”, because which I thought the line about Waring blender was funny .)

Obviously, your song might be different! But in case this is helpful to you, here is my Memorial Day entry for our holiday jam:

Poor, poor, pathetic me” – Linda Ronstadt.

Starfish and Coffee , Prince

Down Under” , “Men at Work”

Money For Nothing, Dire Straights

I’m going to sleep with one eye open,” Dolly Parton.

I Get Around “, The Beach Boys.

Daddy, don’t preach, ” Madonna.

I am the Walrus” , “The Beatles”

Charlie on the MTA , Kingston Trio (Subway song).

Jet Airplane Getaway by Peter Paul and Mary (airplane song)

Rock Me Amadeus , Falco

Go like an Egyptian, ” bracelets.

Moses Guesses ” from the soundtrack to ” Singing in the Rain” ; Warning: they’ll sing this forever

Six Days On The Road , The Flying Burrito Brothers (Truck Song)

Rock Island Line ” Dan Zanez (song for the train)

Nashville Blues Louvine Brothers (kind of round, kids singing merrily)

More…

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