How to Take the Best Bath Possible
Taking a bath isn’t about cleansing – it’s what a shower is for. Baths soothe your restless mind and relieve pain, both physical and emotional. As a very sensitive person , I believe baths are essential and I do very well with them.
This is not to say that bathtubs cannot cleanse in their own way, especially steamy ones, but removing dirt is not your goal in the bath. (Plus, if you remove a lot of dirt while in the tub, you just end up in dirty water. If your goal is to sit in dirty water, I suggest a lake.)
Anyway. Taking a good bath is not as easy as filling the bathtub and taking a dip in it. A plan needs to be drawn up. The mood needs to be tuned. Playlists must be selected. Learn from me, my children. Follow my bathing plan for the most restorative benefits.
Step 1. Clean up the bathroom
It’s hard to relax in a messy, messy environment, so take a few minutes to straighten up, wipe everything, and maybe shake the bath mat and quickly sweep the floor, as there is nothing worse than getting out of the bath, everything is blissful just to your joy has been stolen by the feeling of sand and hair sticking to your feet.
I’m not saying you wipe off every tile and every little strip of grout, but quickly spray the tub with an all-purpose cleaner, wipe off any ugly stains, and rinse well. If your bathroom needs a deep cleaning anyway, do it and then reward yourself with a very beautiful bathroom. (Honestly, my love of bathing and bathing is what motivates me to keep my bathroom clean.)
Step 2: decide which bath you want to take
The baths I take can be divided into four categories: pain relievers, beauty, goodbye, and “I’m going to kill the world if I don’t relax.” Each one requires slightly different strategies and materials.
Anesthetic bath
This is a bathtub to take if you have aches and pains from training or – in my case – lifting your dog strangely, because now I am old and never exercise. This bath requires Epsom salts, an adult drink, a glass of cold water, possibly a cold compress, and the hottest water you can handle. I’m a big fan of Dr. Teale’s Epsom Salt because it’s cheap (so you don’t think you need to ration it) and has a wide range of great smells. I love Ginger & Clay , but there is even one for masculine men because sometimes masculinity is too fragile.
If your pain isn’t in your head, turn up Netflix or a good playlist (more on that in a moment), making sure it’s something that will keep you in the bath for a while so you can reap the maximum amount of restorative benefits. If there is pain in the head, dim light, and put a cold, damp cloth on the forehead or eyes.
Decorating bath
This bath is a little less relaxing than the others, but still calming in its own way. The treatments you use will differ depending on your skin type, but I recommend choosing one for your body and one for your face. A face mask is an obvious choice and I cannot recommend enough TONYMOLY sheet masks . Not only do they have one for every skin type you can think of, but they are easy to put on, cheap and require no cleaning afterwards. In fact, the serum they leave behind is not meant to be removed at all; just rub it gently into your skin.
For body care, epsom salt is again a good option, but I’m a fan of moisturizing bath or melt bombs , usually from Lush. However, if you want to exfoliate your skin, buy some viscose. I have Baiden mittens , but obviously Korean Italian towels work just as well and are much cheaper. To take advantage of one of these miracle cures, simply submerge yourself in hot water for twenty minutes and then rub your entire body with a rayon of your choice. Dead, dull skin will roll off you as if by magic, revealing a super-smooth, new you underneath.
After bathing, use a mitten or towel and then rinse in the shower. Nobody wants to walk around with rolls of dead skin.
Date-Night Bath
A date and night date bath is like a pretty bathtub, just a little less aggressive and a little more mood-enhancing. You can do a face mask, but I don’t like doing any intense or new facials before a date, in case my skin doesn’t react well. Sensual scented bubbles are essential for a date bath, whether it’s this bubble bar or (again) the wonderfully scented Teal product . A playlist is also needed, preferably something a little sexy but still relaxing. Post-sex cigarettes are my current go-to for a date bath atmosphere. Feel free to use it yourself.
It also doesn’t hurt to have a cocktail, because most good dates start with cocktails.
Bath “I’m going to kill the whole world if I don’t relax”
Also known as a fucking bath, this is the bath you take when you are no longer able to even and must immerse yourself in hot water to reproduce the soothing sensation of being in the womb when things were simpler, less aggressive, and no one wanted anything from you. This bath is designed to afford everything you need at this moment, and there is no wrong way to do it. For me, it’s usually a cocktail (shocking) and some kind of aromatic bath remedy, but it also includes ice cream, pasta, and cheese (with potato chips topped off).
One thing this bath does not include is beauty products or how to shave. It’s time for you to sulk and not pretend to be nice to look at by patriarchal standards.
You can of course design your own bath, taking items from each of mine as needed to get the best possible bathing experience. Sometimes I combine pain relievers with “fuck everything”; there are no rules.
Step # 3: Collect everything you need
I’m never more angry than when I plunge into the warm, loving embrace of my bath only to realize that I have left my drink or book in another room. A little preparatory work will prevent such a disaster, and you will thank yourself for such brilliant foresight. Before you start filling your tub, collect the following:
- Several hand towels: Place these within reach of the bathtub so you can dry your hands as needed so your books, magazines, or phone (tweet in the bathtub at your own risk) don’t get wet.
- Entertainment: Place your laptop on a chair next to the bathroom so you can watch your favorite show, grab some reading material, or play a podcast or playlist.
- Drinks: Although one very concerned citizen warned me against this , I enjoy alcoholic drinks in the bath; I even have a small cup holder for this kind of soaking . You should also bring a large glass or bottle of water with you, because dehydration is not fun.
- Any beauty treatments: Collect bath bombs, face masks, or anything else that you plan to apply to your person. This also applies to exfoliating devices.
Step 4: shower or at least wash your feet
If you haven’t taken a shower lately, you probably want to do it in front of the bath so you don’t drown out in the dirt you’ve accumulated over the course of the day. At the very least, make sure your feet are clean, otherwise all the sand and dirt will run off and dirty your otherwise perfect bath. Get rid of the rage and wash your damn feet.
Step 5: relaxing
Take a bath, enjoy a blissful time in your bath, come out refreshed. Wrap yourself in a highly absorbent towel and put on your pajamas. (Unless you took a bath before the date. Then you should dial your sexiest little number or just stay nekkid, depending on how you spend your dates.)