Former FBI Hostage Negotiator Explains How to Get Rid of a Bad Tinder Date
If you’ve ever had an awful first date but felt compelled to make it through, this tip is for you.
It is difficult to get a clear idea of who someone is in just one meeting, but sometimes you can tell that they are not “the same” almost immediately. Maybe they said something hurtful. Maybe they seem overly aggressive . Or maybe they just smell like a serial killer. Be that as it may, you don’t have to waste time if you don’t want to.
True, this is difficult to do. One at hand, you don’t want to sound rude. On the other hand, you don’t want them to cause them any angry behavior. In a sense, you feel like a hostage of this person. So Chris Voss , the former lead FBI kidnapping negotiator, shares some advice in an episode of the original Moneyish series, Daily Hostages. Start with an apology, as it keeps them waiting for bad news and curiosity, so they listen more closely:
“I’m sorry. I’m sure this will make you feel like I’m a bad person and I will seem self-centered and self-centered. But I’m afraid I’ll have to leave and I need you to let me go.”
Saying that you need them to let you go makes them feel a little better and stronger. And when they “give” you the go-ahead – not that you really need it – they’ll believe they did the right thing, which makes them feel a little better. Then offer another excuse if you feel the need to do so and run away.
Of course, if this seems too unexpected for you, you can always pretend to go to the bathroom, or ask a friend to call you, pretending to be someone important. But, if they seem good enough, consider giving it to them straight . Who knows? Maybe they also really want to get out of there.