Five Rules for Referring to an Old Job Reference

You are looking for a job and need to put your professional references together. And this means turning to a certain former boss who will become the perfect person. There is only one small problem. You are definitely not in touch.

This post was originally published on the Muse website .

Months have passed – or years already? – since you last contacted him. The thought of suddenly returning to your life and saying, “Hello, can I add you to my list?” emphasizes you.

In short, you fire him and start puzzling over other strong contacts. Three positions ago, the boss, who now works a bit as a freelancer, now has neither a company name nor an impressive title assigned to her. There is a colleague who can talk to your work but cannot manage you (she will still work, but not your number one). In fact, you cannot imagine anyone better than this person with whom you have lost touch.

Then you really only have one choice: you have to eat the bullet and renew the relationship. The fact is that we all have weak connections in our networks – people with whom we once worked side by side or were close, but with whom we do not have regular dates for coffee or frequent meetings. Intermittent contact is not the end of the world.

If you ask the question with clear thinking and a positive attitude, you will probably succeed. If you think he will give you a great reference, follow the five tips below:

1. Admit your breakup

Start by admitting that you have not been in touch. Don’t ruin it by making excuses or overly apologizing . Just call it what it is and be sincere. Here’s an example of what to say:

Hi Mitch,

I can’t believe we haven’t chatted since we worked together at ACME. I’ve done a terrible job of keeping in touch, but I hope you’re ready to recover now.

2. Be honest about your motives

We are all very busy with our careers, family and other pressing matters – including your recommendation! It is unlikely that he will react with shock when you apologize for not getting in touch and ask for a favor within five minutes. Don’t waste a lot of time on small talk; rather, respect his time and get down to business:

In preparation for the next step in my career, I interviewed a great company that I would like to work for. I want my recommendations to be prepared in case they require them at the end of the interview. I would appreciate the opportunity to include you on this list.

3. Give context

Give this person as much information as possible so they can share information that makes sense and illuminates you. Here’s how to bring this up:

I don’t want to take too much of your time, but I would like to tell you a little about the job and how my qualifications match. That way, if someone calls and asks to check the recommendations, you will feel prepared and comfortable answering and answering any of their questions.

Please let me know if you have a few minutes next Thursday or Friday for a quick phone call. Alternatively, if you can meet in person, I would happily buy you coffee.

Imagine the roles are reversed and you receive this email or phone call. Wouldn’t you be inclined to answer yes?

4. Prepare them for the conversation.

Once you get a confirmed yes, keep it posted. Let him know when you are interviewing and when he might hear from the company. Name specific projects or results you’ve achieved while working together that would be good for him to point out to an inquisitive hiring manager.

Don’t assume that he remembers everything about your collaboration, especially if he has had many employees over the years.

5. Say thank you

Of course, if an offer comes in, share the news and don’t forget to say thank you! A detailed email will suffice, but a handwritten note is even better. And if you don’t get the job, it’s worth sharing this news too.

Express your gratitude and let him know that you didn’t do well with the last job you told him about, but that you are targeting a couple of others. Add a line where you hope it will continue to be your guide as you move forward in your search. (And hey, you never know, he may know about an open position that will interest you too.)

Constant connection with all our connections would be network nirvana . But this is an unrealistic expectation. Instead of berating yourself for not being sure you “deserve a mention,” remind yourself that people are busy and that contact is unlikely to scoff when they see your name in their inbox. Instead, follow these steps to make the long-lost manager your most ardent advocate and best contact for all potential job openings.

5 Rules for Reaching Out to a Source You Never Talked About in Forever | Muse

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