Why People Gossip and What to Do With Gossips
We know that gossip can be as real and authentic as the fairy tales you were told as a child, but this knowledge does not deter some people from participating in them. This is why people gossip (or participate in it) and what to do if you become the subject of gossip.
Gossip definitely leaves a bad taste in your mouth, while gossip makes you feel like you are a part of the crowd. This social status is one of the reasons people gossip. Some of the other “benefits” include:
- Proximity: A shared secret helps connect the gossip and listener.
- Trust: There is often an illusory perception of trust, but we all know that trust is fragile.
- Accuracy: The combination of status, closeness and trust makes us want to believe in trusting gossip.
The Harvard Business Review article below points out that all of this is almost always illusory. If you are getting involved in gossip, one of the most powerful things you can do is let the gossipers know that you will not be a part of them:
Whenever I see a conversation going in the direction of gossip, I politely stop it and say, “Please don’t put anything in my head that you expect me to not act. I will not judge another person without sharing it with him. ” It helps people understand that when they provide you with information, they are taking responsibility – otherwise you won’t want it.
The article provides even more helpful tips on how to deal with gossip during and after a date, and while they focus their discussion around the gossiping boss, these tips can be applied to the general workplace as well.
What To Do If You Have A Boss Who Gossips | Harvard Business Review