Make It Easier to Connect With People You Hate by Setting Conversation Goals
When you don’t get along with someone, talking to them can be infuriating and tormenting. This situation is best avoided, but sometimes there is no escape. Here’s a way to make these negotiations productive.
If you are engaged in a discussion with someone you despise, Jay Heinrichs , author of Thanks for the Argument , invites you to choose a goal — productive — and stick to it. For example, your goal might be to gather knowledge and learn new things. The person you disagree with may have an idea of a point of view that you are not aware of. Or perhaps your goal is to try to find something in common. Maybe they are fans of the same sports team, and you can carry on the conversation in that direction every time you are forced to be around them.
Or, if there are other people around, your goal might be to strengthen your relationship with someone else. You can show them how good you are at keeping your cool, or show them support their beliefs by talking to the person who drives you crazy. The point is to turn a situation you can’t handle into progress and distract you enough so that you don’t blow yourself up.
How to Talk to Someone You Hate | Tonic