Support Your Loved Ones the Way They Support You.
We all express and feel love in different ways, and this can be problematic in relationships. As the School of Life points out, we often help and support our loved ones based on what we think they need, not what they really need in times of disaster.
The video talks about how difficult it is to comfort a loved one. Sometimes all a person wants is for you to listen, and you offer solutions, rewards, or attachments. Or maybe the person needs solutions, and all you can do is listen and empathize. As the School of Life explains, it all boils down to empathy and understanding how the other person is feeling:
… Therefore, the urgent task is to try to understand exactly how we and our partner need love in order to feel that it is real … love is a piece of paper with a list of bullet points in your partner’s handwriting … it seems like love is not can remain at the level of only one intention. This must involve a constant strenuous effort to translate our desires into interventions that are truly related to the psychology and history of the other person.
This generally means that if you want to comfort someone, it helps you do it in their own way, not your way . Watch their full video to find out more.
How to help those we love | School of Life (YouTube)