If You Want to Get Close to Someone, Swear to Them
There are some strange taboos in our modern culture. Although many of us extremely comfortable to watch adult shows such as “Game of Thrones” and “Breaking Bad,” swearing at the dinner table is simply impossible. However, if you want to bond with someone, it might be worth giving up a few profanities.
As Michael Adams explains in his book Praising Profanity , the fact that swearing is taboo means that swearing itself can make you a little vulnerable. Think back to the first time you dropped a bomb with someone you just met. You’ve probably experienced a momentary feeling of nervousness wondering if they’ll accept it, or if they’ll be offended by your tongue. Once you get through this moment, you will have a little intimacy. Taking a liking to each other’s seemingly imprudent actions helps build bonds. As Quartz sums it up:
He argues that profanity serves many useful social functions, including “bringing us together.” There is intimacy in curses precisely because you know you are not supposed to. My son understands that by swearing in front of him, his mother confirms her trust in him; it’s something that can be shared between the two, but shouldn’t be repeated in school (please god).
Bad words, Adams writes, are surprisingly useful in strengthening human relationships because they carry risks … We like to avoid trouble, and sometimes we do it with like-minded people.
Of course, swearing is not always appropriate, and sometimes it needs to be stopped . If you are at a business event, visiting your significant other’s family, or at a formal event, you might want to ditch the flamboyant language. For more intimate outings – and if everyone in the room is comfortable with it – you can let your words flow more freely.