Traits of a Good Listener

There are many self-help books to help you improve your speaking skills, but improving your listening skills is just as important, and in some cases even more. Watch this video from School of Life and find out what traits of your “listening skills” are well developed and what you can work on.

Listening is more than just hearing the words coming from a person’s mouth. It’s also about more than just nodding and being silent (although it can work sometimes). Good listeners do more.

  1. They cheer people up : a good listener encourages you to dive into the details and connect the dots yourself. A good listener encourages you by suggesting, “Go on …”. And they ask revealing questions to get to the source of your frustration, worry, and worry. This helps create a “deeper base of interaction”.
  2. They call for clarification: a good listener helps you explore the deeper issues of something, not just use vague descriptors like “This is good” or “I’m so sick of my job.” They help you dig deeper and understand what is particularly “nice” or “bored” about this thing.
  3. They are not moralizing: a good listener does not judge what you say, even if it is contrary to the norm or the status quo. They acknowledge and accept your stupidity, making you feel like you can be honest.
  4. They separate disagreement from criticism: a good listener can disagree with you without provoking feelings of hostility or disrespect in the conversation.

This is actually a lot harder than it sounds and certainly takes practice. I am constantly working to become a better listener. Previously, one of the biggest problems was the constant feeling of overwhelming desire to intervene because I wanted to share my thoughts or give advice. In my experience, this is the last thing someone needs , unless they specifically ask for it.

Now that I’m struggling to avoid this, I find myself asking questions to get to know the person or what he or she is experiencing, rather than trying to overcome the person’s problems or frustrations with my often unnecessary information.

Be a Good Listener | School of Life


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