Get Rid of Internal Reactions to Someone You Don’t Like by Introducing Someone You Like.
When an adversary asks for a favor at work, criticizes you in conversation, or even just offers a perfectly valid argument, it’s easy to get grumpy about the whole case simply because you don’t like him. Harvard Business Review suggests revisiting your assumptions by rethinking their perspectives as if they came from someone you really like.
It’s a silly little mental trick, but it can work wonders. Basically, it’s about removing the person you don’t like from the equation and replacing them with someone you like. The result will get rid of your prejudices and hopefully on your way to something more constructive. Here’s an example:
Once you can visualize this [opponent] vividly and even intuitively, imagine the following scenario: You are sitting at your desk and working when a message from this person appears on your screen. You open the message and it says, “I received the draft presentation you sent in. I caught a couple of errors and I have ideas on how to fix them. I will drop by your office at 15:00 to discuss. “
Now get this man out of your head. Instead, imagine a colleague with whom you get along really well, someone who is always supportive. This is the person you turn to when you want to calibrate on an important issue. When you think of this person, imagine this scenario: you are sitting at your desk and working when a message from this person appears on your screen. You open the message and it says, “I received the draft presentation you sent in. I caught a couple of errors and I have ideas on how to fix them. I will drop by your office at 15:00 to discuss. “
It’s amazing how much it can change your mood. Sure, this opponent might still be a jerk, but at least you’ll now have a better chance of getting something productive out of the entire experience.
A Thought Trick for Difficult Conversations | Harvard Business Review