All the Ways Birth Control Pills Can Affect Your Sex Life, for Better or for Worse
About 10 million women in the United States take birth control pills in one form or another, for good reason: the pill is one of the most effective birth control methods. But fiddling with hormones can change your sex life in both positive and negative ways. Here’s what you need to know as a pill recipient or partner.
How the pill works
While the phrase “Pill” seems to be referring to one particular pill, there are actually dozens of birth control pills on the market. Each has a different dosage of hormones that help the body prevent pregnancy. Most pills contain a combination of a progestin and estrogen , and some contain only a progestin. These hormones prevent your body from ovulating (the release of an egg from the ovary). Without an egg, there is nothing to fertilize and you have no way of getting pregnant. Hooray!
But that’s not all that these hormones work – they can also affect your sex drive, your emotions, and even who you are attracted to.
How the pill affects sexual desire
The connection between the pill and sexual desire is complex. Unfortunately, this is also one of the least understood aspects of potential side effects. Since pills alter your hormone levels, and hormone levels are also a component of your sex drive, it seems logical that pills can affect your sex drive.
Unfortunately, sex drive is not as easy as “more hormones = more arousal” (I imagine a caveman grumbling this statement out loud). There are a myriad of factors that influence sexual desire, including other health problems, stress, ability, sleep, relationship dynamics, sexual attitudes, self-esteem, body image, and safety. But here are a few possibilities that you may come across.
How pills can reduce sex drive
Let’s start with how the pill works biologically (with the caveat that I’m not a doctor). Your ovaries, which the pills essentially shut down, are also responsible for producing testosterone , a hormone associated with sex drive. By itself, the pill can lower testosterone levels in a woman’s body. It also forces the body to maintain stable hormone levels, which means you won’t experience the usual spikes in testosterone during your cycle. If you’ve ever felt particularly aroused before your period starts, this may be due to the spike. Estrogen can also increase levels of sex hormone binding globulin (SHBG). SHBG binds to testosterone and makes it biologically unavailable, which further lowers testosterone levels. Again, the relationship between testosterone and sex drive is not fully understood, but lower testosterone levels may not be the biggest factor in a woman’s sex drive.
The pills can also significantly reduce the amount of lubrication your body produces. This can make sex uncomfortable or even painful . Some women associate getting wet with arousal, so dryness can be interpreted as a psychological signal that she is not aroused.
Long-term pill use is also associated with an increased risk of vulvar pain. When your girly pieces hurt, sex doesn’t seem particularly tempting.
How pills can increase sex drive
However, there are also many ways that pills can make you want or be more open to sex more often. For instance:
- Knowing that you are safe can be a huge relief. This feeling of relaxation alone can naturally increase your desire for sex. (Remember that while pills prevent pregnancy, they do not protect you from STIs.)
- Some women use pills to skip their periods completely. If you are uncomfortable with having sex during your period (don’t be embarrassed, but some women don’t like it), taking the pill may give you more days when sex is actually possible.
- Taking the pills usually means ending your menstrual cramps. Not having to deal with this pain can make you more open to sex.
- Some pills can help reduce acne breakouts. If you have severe adult acne, you know that it can make intimacy seem too intimidating. The more self-confidence you have, the more comfortable it is to have sex.
Other possible sexual side effects of the pill
In addition to your sex drive, pills can have other consequences for your sex life:
- Bloody discharge . Some women may experience mild to severe bleeding while taking the tablets. This is another case where discomfort during menstrual sex could mean that you have been off work for quite some time. Light spotting is normal, but a doctor should check for moderate to large amounts of fluid. It is the same with spotting that lasts longer than a week.
- Choosing a partner . Some researchers suggest that the pill changes the type of male partner you are attracted to . Our nose can sniff out genes for the major histocompatibility complex (MHC) in other people. These genes play a large role in a healthy immune system. Women prefer the scent of men whose MHC genes are different from theirs, as they will have children with healthier immune systems. When women take the pill, they are more attracted to men with a similar MHC profile. Terrifying thought for couples who met while a woman was taking her pills, isn’t it?
- Emotional changes . The pill can make you freakin ‘moody. It’s hard to have sex when you’recrying to the Sarah McLachlan SPCA commercial .
Of course, every woman will have different reactions to the pill, but these are fairly common answers.
How to minimize exposure to pills
If you are going to take birth control pills, you need to look into the different brands. Your body may respond much better to one pill than another. Talk to your doctor, but it is generally recommended that you test each pill for 3-6 months.
If you’re new to taking pills, try keeping a daily journal for a month or two before starting. I know this will take a lot of effort, but it’s a great way to keep track of the effects that Pill has on you. Keep taking your pills for a month or two, then switch to a weekly journal for the next few months.
If you take the pill all the time you are sexually active, you are less likely to notice their effect on your sex life. You can take short breaks to better understand the natural rhythms of your body.
How to be a good partner for a woman who takes pills
If your girlfriend or wife decides to start taking birth control pills, your observations from the outside can be invaluable as it will help her understand if she is working for her.
Of course, it takes a little finesse to share your comments. Saying, “You’ve been crazy since you started taking them,” is definitely not going to earn you any points. Before she starts taking the pills, you may want to consider telling her, “I’ve heard that pills can have many side effects. If you think this is helpful to you, I can try to see if I notice any changes. ” You can also discuss how you might share your observations with her so that she does not feel like you are giving her unwanted advice.
If there is something important that you feel the need to raise without your feedback (for example, by noticing a sudden change in her mood), try to raise the topic as delicately as possible. Taking pills is emotionally charged for many women, so you should respect the fact that this is her body. Be grateful you didn’t have to deal with this crap!