A Quick Guide to Quitting a Bad Habit
Few of us do not have any bad habits that we would like to give up: smoking, sweets, shopping, nail biting, porn, frequent phone or social media checks, other distractions. The problem is that we think we have no willpower when faced with past evidence of failure after failure when we tried to quit smoking before.
This post was originally published on the Zen Habits site .
We don’t think we can quit smoking, so we don’t even try. Or, if we do try, we give ourselves out and do not give ourselves up completely. Let me tell you this: quitting a bad habit requires everything you have.
It is difficult, but doable if you put your whole being into it. If you don’t know how to change habits, I suggest you start there and just focus on creating a new good habit. But if you’re ready to finally give up, here’s a quick guide on how to do it.
10 steps to help you break bad habits
You don’t really need to complete each of these steps to quit the habit, but the more you do, the better your chances. I recommend them all if you want to go for broke.
1. Have great motivation . Often times people quit because it sounds good: “It would be nice to quit caffeine.” But this is weak motivation. In fact, you need a strong motivation: I quit smoking because I knew it was killing me, and I knew that my children would smoke like adults if I didn’t quit. Know your “Why” and support it throughout the entire quitting period. Write it down at the top of your document titled Exit Plan.
2. Make big commitments . Now that you know your motivation, be totally committed. A common mistake is to say, “I’ll do it today,” but then let yourself get off the hook when the urges get stronger. Instead, tell everyone about it. Ask them for help. Give them updates regularly and be responsible. Find a support partner you can turn to when you need help. Ask people to keep you on the hook. Be all-in.
3. Be mindful of your triggers . What events are causing you a bad habit? The habit doesn’t just happen, it’s triggered by something else: you smoke when others smoke, or you shop when you’re stressed, or you eat junk food when you’re bored, or watch porn when you’re alone. , or you check your social media when you feel like you need to fill up an empty space during the day. Observe yourself for a few days and notice what triggers your habit, make a list of triggers in your smoking cessation plan, and then learn to be aware of when these triggers occur.
4. Know with what need the habit responds . We have bad habits for a reason – they meet some need. For each trigger you write down, see what needs the habit might have in this case. This habit can help you deal with stress. For some other triggers, it can help you socialize or deal with sadness, boredom, loneliness, feeling unwell, sickness, coping with a crisis, rest, treatment, or comfort. Write these needs down in your smoking cessation plan and think of other ways to address them.
5. Have a changeable habit for each trigger . So, what will you do when faced with a stress trigger? You can’t just give up your old bad habit – it will leave an unfulfilled need, a hole that you will fill with your old bad habit if you don’t fill that need somehow. So have a good habit of doing when you are stressed, or when someone is angry with you, etc. triggers if you like).
6. Observe the promptings and procrastinate . When the triggers go off, you will be prompted to quit your bad habit. These urges are dangerous if you just act on them without thinking. Learn to recognize them when they happen and just sit and watch the urge rise and fall and then disappear. Set yourself aside if you really want to act on the impulse. Breathe. Drink some water. Call someone for help. To go for a walk. Get out of the situation. The urge will go away if you just procrastinate.
7. Practice a new habit every time the trigger goes off . It will take a lot of conscious effort – being very aware of when a trigger is firing and being very attentive to the new habit instead of the old automatic one. If you are wrong, forgive yourself, but you need to be very clear about your sequence for the new habit to start becoming automatic. This is one reason it is difficult to start with bad habits – if multiple triggers happen randomly throughout the day, it means you need to be aware of changing your habit all day, every day, for several weeks or more.
8. Be aware of your thinking . We justify bad habits by thinking. You need to watch your thoughts and understand when you are apologizing for an old bad habit, or when you start to feel like quitting instead of sticking to your changes. Don’t believe your reasoning.
9. Come out gradually . Until recently, I was a fan of the Stop Cold Turkey philosophy, but now I believe you can give it up gradually. That means cutting from 20 cigarettes to 15, then 10, then 5, then zero. Doing this every week will make it less difficult and you will have a better chance of success.
10. Learn from mistakes . We all make mistakes sometimes – if you do, goodbye and don’t let one mistake derail you. See what happened, accept it, come up with a better plan next time. Write this in your smoking cessation plan. Your plan will get better and better as you continually improve. In this way, mistakes help you improve the method.
I’m not saying this is an easy method, but many people have failed because they ignored the ideas here. Don’t be one of them. Do your best, find your motivation, and replace the habit with the best habit for each trigger. Have you received it.
A Quick Guide to Kicking a Bad Habit | Zen habits