Make the Most of Your Feelings of Jealousy by Breaking Them.

Jealousy can make us resentful, ungrateful, and bitter. It’s an unpleasant feeling, but we all experience it from time to time . The next time jealousy creeps in on you, break it down to turn it into something more productive.

In The Simple Dollar, writer Trent Hamm recommends tackling feelings of jealousy directly by breaking them down. Try what he calls the “five whys”:

The whole problem of jealousy comes down to desire. For some reason, whether you are consciously aware of it or not, you desire something that the other person has. You want this in your life. The question is, why do you need this in life? I like to use “five whys” to answer this question. Whenever I try to answer the “why” question, I repeat it five times, asking the answer I come up with for each question.

He begins the “five why” method by asking why you want this in your life? For example, Hamm admits that he often envies a friend who travels internationally every year. He asks why he needs it. In the process, he shows that he wants his children to be able to travel because he wants them to be versatile, because that is his job as a parent. At the heart of his jealousy is his desire to be a good parent.

Going to the root of your jealousy, put it into action:

When you identify a specific strong desire that you have, take a step back and break it down into small pieces. Then see if you have a way to address these smaller issues in your own life. Again, let’s take that international trip. What do I need on this trip? I want to introduce my children to different cultures…. The point is, when I start to break this journey into small pieces, I begin to see fragments that I can easily incorporate into my life.

In Hamm’s example, this could mean that his children are going on vacation to the city to learn more about nearby cultures. It could also mean simply teaching his children other lifestyles. In any case, he is now less jealously focused on what he considers to be his parental duty.

In short, by breaking your feelings of jealousy, you will be able to understand what is behind them. Once you understand this, you can make a plan for how to incorporate this desire into your daily life. Check out Hamm’s full post for more details.

Coping with Jealousy of Other People’s Wealth | Simple dollar

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