How to Develop a Sense of Humor
A good sense of humor makes you more enjoyable. You can also perform better (if you don’t overdo it ). But even if you were cursed by poor timing or lack of jokes, here’s how you can develop a sense of humor.
Immerse yourself in humor
You learn more effectively when you immerse yourself in a subject (such as language ). Likewise, you can improve your sense of humor by immersing yourself in it. Watch stand-up comedians. Listen to podcasts that keep you entertained. Read humorous books. There’s a lot of fun in there!
First, you can copy the jokes and use them yourself. Benjamin Errett, author of Elements of Wit , told Vice in an interview , “There are two types of people. Parrots and magpies. Some people just steal their lines and repeat them. Others are hunting for gold. “
While the parrot is frowned upon in the professional stand-up comedy world (although it still happens on a regular basis ), it’s no shame for regular buddies to be duplicated by the pros, especially if you can use it as a stepping stone. Even the writer Oscar Wilde was a parrot. Errett says in an interview with NPR :
This is an interesting case because a lot of what he did was taken, borrowed, and reworked. You can even see lines reappearing in some of his most famous works. Therefore, he always honed and tweaked everything he did. And one of the interesting things about him that I really find adorable is that he had this personality in a sort of parlor society of Victorian London, like this guy who was a great speaker, but what did he ever do? And he was kind of famous in society – he was the kind of Kardashian of his day. But he continued to create very meaningful and enduring deeds.
If you’re not particularly funny, you can start out like a parrot (“I heard something funny the other day …”). Diving into humor is sure to help you get away from parrots. However, if you want to develop from a parrot, don’t just memorize or tell jokes. Pay attention to the timing and production of the comedians. Pay attention to their facial expressions and body language. You don’t have to repeat this, but you should notice it in order to use it in your own jokes.
Part of this process will be mindful, but your mirror neurons are likely to pick up certain signals and body language. As for me, Aziza Ansari seems pretty funny to me (some people prefer him in small doses, but I could watch him perform for hours). I didn’t even notice that I was repeating his high-pitched voice until a friend pointed it out.
Be witty, not stupid
As Errett points out in the Wall Street Journal , if you want smarter on the fly, your goal is to combine spontaneous creativity with ideas that delight. Sarcasm and stale jokes do have some amusing appeal, but the wit goes beyond that.
The good news is that if you don’t feel witty, you can develop wit. In the same interview with Vice, Errett mentions: “George Bernard Shaw was originally a terrible speaker and as sharp as a beach pebble, but over time he worked on it and developed into one of the greatest intellectuals of his time. accepts that you can learn to do it. ”In other words, you need to adopt a growth mindset .
The problem with wit is its immediacy. You can hone your wits by regularly joking with other people. If you know someone who takes wit as seriously as you do, it might be helpful to enlist them as a “witty” sparring partner.
If you’re comfortable with it, you can also try your hand at the real world (e.g. dinner parties, office, coffee shop, elevator, family gatherings). Part of this real world is exposing yourself to the spontaneity that wit requires. If you are new to this, or are nervous or holding back about it, you may have trouble speaking fast enough to get the timing right.
Silly humor can be a good starting point for some viewers, but it can quickly become outdated. It can also make you immature (which can be bad for work and in the eyes of some people). Many laughed at Borat, not at him. (Plus, do you want to be known in the same context as Borat?) On the other hand, even bad comedy and stupidity have their fans. Know your audience.
Find out what amuses you
Often we say something solely to please others. We flatter friends or colleagues by complimenting the changes they make. We bring up topics that we know may be of interest to others. However, when it comes to jokes, don’t change your sense of humor to please other people. Instead, start with what amuses you . Then, if you think the other person will like it too, share it with them.
Will Wister writes on Quora :
When you’re presenting a comedy professionally or making friends laugh, it’s important to entertain yourself and not spoil others with your humor. In the comedian world, this is often viewed as hacking behavior.
You will be funny when you find something funny and adorable. This is a starting point before you consider other people’s opinions.
With that said, even if you’re looking at your own sense of humor, you should definitely consider your audience and situation. Even if the remark is absolutely tearing, slapping on the knees, funny, it can be considered bad form if you say it in the wrong situation. This type of observation and restraint is a completely different worm bath.
Think about timing and audience
You don’t have to be funny all the time (or even on demand), so don’t expect that from yourself. Don’t let others expect this of you. When you find yourself trying to be funny, take your time.
Even if you are repeating the parrot, take your time when telling the joke. This is scary because you’re probably thinking, “Don’t ruin this twist. Don’t spoil this zest. Don’t spoil this flavor. ” Just speak more slowly to avoid stuttering. Try speaking 60–70% of your normal pace. Pause between sentences. Evaluate feedback on your attempts.
As says the writer Carol Burnett: “Comedy – this is a tragedy plus time.” When considering your audience, make sure that enough time has passed (but not too much), and that the tragedy does not upset or frighten anyone. It helps if the tragedy affects only you. The study, published in the journal Social Psychological & Personality Science, looks at the sweet spot of the times:
Timing creates a comedic sweet spot that occurs when the psychological distance from a tragedy is large enough to protect people from a threat (creating a benign disorder), but not so much that the event turns into a purely benign, non-threatening situation.
If you’re going to tell an anecdote, you don’t need a preamble or anecdote. Just say it . Approach the subject. Even if you find something amusing, it will not help your cause – making others happy – insulting a colleague or friend. (If you overheard or fell victim to a stereotypical joke, here’s how you can respond .)
As soon as you say something to the world, it is already there. When it comes to yourself, it can be perceived as self-deprecating and can be funny, offending as few people as possible. If you find something funny, ask yourself – will it hurt anyone? Is now the right time to say that?
Know when to let it die, or pull the plug out of you
Few things are worse than someone trying to continue a bad story. Sometimes it’s not a mistake in a story or a joke. Maybe it just isn’t right for the audience, or maybe it’s not the right time. You may be uncomfortable with telling this, so you cannot convey it properly. Anyway, if you feel like the joke is lost, just let it die. Better yet, just get it over with.
Depending on the situation, you can recover from it. Here’s how comedian Mitch Hedberg once told his audience a mediocre jokeand turned it around :
I didn’t go to college, but if I did, I would pass all the tests in the restaurant, because the customer is always right. (responding to scant applause) Okay, okay. This joke is better than you acted. This may not be the case. Maybe it’s stupid. Maybe. I can hear you, man. For heaven’s sake, I’m not a fucking genius, you know? I’m just trying to tell jokes. Who the hell are you? It’s track number 14. It’s called “Attitude”.
You don’t have to take every opportunity to be funny. If you’re trying to joke, just end it. “You know what, now that I’m saying this, it’s not as funny as it seemed in my head,” may be a little awkward ending and undermine your ego a little, but it saves everyone time and patience. Ultimately, they will respect your taste. Let the joke slip into the abyss.