Stop Thinking About What You Have to Say Next to Become a Better Listener.
We all do this: when we talk to someone, we spend most of that time thinking about what we are going to say in response. Fast Company notes that it really spoils your listening ability.
When you listen, you tend to go into a thinking way of thinking, when you turn your attention to your contribution to the conversation, you go into a doing mindset, that is, when you start to ignore the actual conversation. Fast Company breaks it down like this:
Getting yourself out of the doing routine can be tricky. Oftentimes, coworkers come to you with a problem, so your first reaction is to prepare to deal with it. However, the problem that people come to talk to you about is not always the real problem that needs to be solved. If you get too quickly into the mode of trying to solve the problem before you, you can cure the symptom, not the disease. Thinking perspective is the colloquial equivalent of the carpenter’s saying, “Measure twice, cut once.”
When you focus on your next talk, you may be missing out on the emotion behind what you are saying. You are conveying much more than just the statements we make with the words we use. Your tone of voice, posture, and gestures also tell a lot about how you are feeling. After all, a simple sentence “It was a great moment” can only be a compliment or an insult, depending on how it is said.
It’s hard to break this tendency, but keeping it in mind as you speak will hopefully start breaking the habit.
How One Simple Change Can Make You a Better Listener | Fast Company