Rephrase Your Complaints to Make Them Kinder
Our loved ones often do things that annoy us. To soften the blow when we complain to them about this, we often start the complaint with a positive statement like, “I love you, but …”. To be even kinder, flip the statement.
Reddit user gcanyon says it’s helpful to first mention the complaint and then add a positive statement:
“But” focuses on the second point, which is often negative, excuse or neglect. Reversing the affirmation emphasizes the positive. Of course, you can also just say / think about the positive, but if the negative is to be considered, at least get it out of the way and move on to the positive first.
So instead of saying, “I love you, but you really need to quit smoking,” you say, “You really need to quit smoking. But I love you”. It’s a simple switch, but it can make a big difference in the tone of the statement.
Click the link below for more details.
LPT: When You Say or Think “X But Y” Change Your Point Of View Thinking “Y But X ” | Reddit via WonderHowTo