How to Deal With Someone Who Is Constantly Wandering
Good conversation is anything you want; both sides listen and respond. However, if you are with someone who tends to chat over and over, this dialogue turns into a monologue. Here are some tips on how to deal with Chatty Katie or Mr Chatterbox.
Helping someone to stop chatting isn’t always easy, but there are so many things you can listen to that you can’t take anymore. However, notice how I said help. As easy as it is to classify every traveler as a person who only cares about himself, there is a good chance that he is not even aware of it. Or maybe they know about it and really would like some help to keep things concise and cute. So try to keep this in mind as you try to get the conversation back on track.
Stop them before they start working
If you know this person as a vagrant, cut him off before that happens. If possible, ask them to summarize and, more specifically, ask them to summarize what they think on a topic. Have them jump straight to their thoughts instead of introducing additional information into their thoughts that is not relevant to the discussion.
Questions are a great thing in any conversation , and by asking questions you can also direct the conversation in any direction you like. When you notice that they start chatting, redirect them to a different topic or issue related to what you were talking about. It engages you in conversation again and adjusts their thoughts just enough so that they stop chatting.
Finally, if you know them well enough, tell them they are wandering . Remember, they may not actually know they are doing this and may be grateful for some help. Be polite and explain that they tend to say more than they should. Tell them that you fully understand them and that they do not need to be over-explained.
Listen, understand and interrupt politely
If you can’t stop them to begin with, or don’t know them well enough to give them a try, you’ll have to prepare to turn them off. Hearing may be the last thing you need to do when you are wondering if someone will ever stop talking, but for this method to work, it is very important. It’s important that you really listen too – even if it’s much nicer to switch off and pretend you’re on the beach somewhere. Ignoring them can make the situation worse because they feel like they have to keep explaining or repeating things to get you to understand, so do your best to stay involved. Show that you are listening with visual and minor verbal cues and try to understand what message they are trying to convey.
When you’re ready and the moment is right, Psychology Today’s Diane Barth suggests that you interrupt them as politely as possible :
They may say, “No, no, I’m talking too much, keep going.” (Do not try to deny this truth out of courtesy; it will just distract both of you.) If they say, “Let me finish this thought,” softly say something like, “Oh, I thought you were done. … Can I tell you what I heard, you said? “… When you interrupt, be prepared to say something about what you hear them say. Do not seek a deep psychological explanation. Something simple and to the point, but if possible, something that reflects something positive about them.
It will be difficult because interrupting someone is inherently rude, but sometimes it is the best option. If you play your cards right, you can show that you really hear what they are saying and finally have a say to them. When you show them that you understand their point of view, sharing similar feelings or memories will also show empathy and help. smother their talkative fire.
Remove their audience
Some travelers love the attention that comes from the people who listen to them. They can be attention pigs or even people who simply lack attention in general and may be more cunning. When all else fails, you need to divert the attention they receive. If you’re in a group, one Quora user suggests a somewhat crude but effective way to deal with attention-seeking vagrants :
… start a new topic / conversation with someone else in the circle who is also annoyed by the “artist”. Nothing makes a vagrant feel more uncomfortable than losing his / her audience, so refuse to be the audience and be a dialogue partner with someone else.
If this is just a one-on-one conversation and you have had enough, explain that you need to do something and avoid it. You can even set a time limit for the conversation right from the start, so you know exactly when it’s time to leave. Your time is valuable and not everyone will respect it. Sometimes you just need to say “I’m sorry, I have to go.”
People care about different things, and some don’t have anyone to share with. Maybe you are the only one they know who will actually listen to them. You don’t have to be a trifle, but they are just people. However, you are trying to help the vagrant to stop, please be kind and remember that everyone wanders from time to time.