How to Calm Your Nerves Before a Scary Speech
Speaking in front of other people – even in a small group – can be unnerving. You are anxious, afraid that you will make a fool of yourself. While butterflies may never completely disappear, there are a few things you can do to clear your head before the big moment.
Start from the right point of view
First of all, it is important to know that you are okay if you are feeling stressed. Concern about public speaking is incredibly common, so remember that you are not alone. Mark Twain once said, “There are two types of speakers: the nervous and the liar.” It’s true. Even the most seasoned speakers and performers get a little nervous before getting down to business. A little personal: I once played six nights a week for houses of 1100+ people, and every time I was a little nervous. It gets easier over time, but it never goes away completely.
So ask yourself: what’s the worst thing that can happen? Chances are, people won’t boo you, laugh at you, or walk away because you’ve made a few mistakes. Stop banging your head against the wall and focus on doing the best you can. Whether you are giving a presentation, giving a speech, or speaking, you need to manage your expectations of the experience and your capabilities. Psychology Today’s Preston Nee explains that it’s especially important not to expect yourself to be perfect :
We exaggerate our shortcomings, ignoring all the good and the good. In truth, even the best and most experienced speakers make many mistakes. When they do, they recover, continue gracefully, and everything is fine. This is one of the keys to public speaking success: behaving gracefully. The audience will never know about most of your mistakes unless you stop your speech, break down, and admit them. Continue to keep your composure. Let yourself not be perfect.
If you realize that you are making multiple mistakes, your perception of public speaking can change dramatically. Accept your future mistakes as quirks or nuances and accept them calmly. The more you worry about your abilities, the more this is compounded by the usual stress of speaking in front of others that you already have. Remember that you are only human, like all the people you talk to.
Practice where you will speak.
A lot of stress and fear stems from the unknown. You don’t know what will happen, maybe you don’t know who will be there, and maybe you are not familiar with the space. You can reduce this fear factor by eliminating as many unknowns as possible. Performance coach Edwin Rice of Noomii suggests spending some time in space before other people get there, if possible:
Knowing the specifics of the room and its layout will help you avoid being abandoned on the day of the actual performance. You will be able to plan where you will stand and move during your presentation, and how to deal with various obstacles such as long rows of office chairs. This is similar to the psychological effect of a sports team having a home field advantage. Especially in baseball, the team is used to the grass and the layout of their field, the arrangement of the stands on the sides, and even the height of the side walls.
Think about it: sports teams warm up on the pitch, musicians check the sound on stage, and performers rehearse in their venue. Explore the space if you have the opportunity. This will give you the opportunity to review your material and you will feel much more comfortable clearing out the unknown.
Stay hydrated, exercise and remember to use the toilet
There are several things you should do throughout the day to reduce your stress levels. First, make sure you drink plenty of water. Dehydration can make you feel tired and dry in your mouth, throat, and lips – all of which are bad when you’re trying to speak in front of people. Suddenly, you cannot think about what you are talking about because you are distracted by the fact that your mouth seems like a desert. Then you worry not only about how you will be received, but also about whether you can even put it into words.
It is also good to play sports. If you have time at the start of the day, exercising well can help you reduce overall stress for the rest of the day. You will get a pump of these endorphins and it will keep you out of your own head. If you don’t have time to train early, a few minutes beforehand can help. Some push-ups, ski jumping or plank jumping will work. Just make sure you don’t sweat too much or tire yourself out. Don’t worry about this.
It should be self-evident and silly, but 10-15 minutes before your engagement try going to the bathroom. You may think you don’t have to walk, but chances are that you are so tense that you ignore your body’s signals. You don’t have to worry about having to give a speech or suddenly having the urge 30 seconds before you go on stage.
Take a deep breath and visualize a simple object
There is a reason many people say to take a deep breath and relax: it works. Slow, deep breaths help lower your heart rate and change your mindset from fight or flight to cool it all down. Easier said than done, of course, which is why Gary Genar suggests rendering a simple object at the same time to help you focus:
… focus on a visual image that you can see in your mind. Make this image a colored shape – green circle, yellow square, blue triangle. Pick anything that isn’t emotionally charged (whatever you do, don’t pick red; red is the real color of anger and worry – just ask the matador). See this object as close to crystal clarity as possible. This will take concentration and you will need to practice to perfect it. Other thoughts, images and feelings will arise; notice them and release them. Focus on your image gently and aggressively.
Focus on the image and breathe in slower and deeper. Place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach and inhale through your nose. Try to expand your diaphragm rather than your chest so your lungs can expand and draw in as much air as possible. Your body and mind will respond positively and your anxiety levels will decrease slightly.
Warm up your body and voice
When you give a speech, your voice becomes an instrument. If you’re worried that your body will betray you in some way, simple warm-up exercises can help ease your anxiety. As with the instrument, your voice must be properly tuned before you can start swinging the microphone. Start by warming up your voice. Practice pronouncing tongue twisters and other similar exercises to get your tongue, lips, and jaw ready for work. Breathing exercises to improve voice transmission are also helpful. The more you are ready, the less stress you will feel.
It is important that you know your material well, but do not repeat it over and over again. You want your performance to sound natural, and sometimes repeating an entire performance can tire you even more . Instead, focus on the practice of the beginning and the end. Getting it wrong in the beginning can be confusing and your stress can turn into a nightmare of anxiety. If you’ve rehearsed enough and you know everything you’re talking about, your muscles and mental memory will kick in as soon as you start and you reach your flow. Finishing practice ensures that you not only start off confidently, but also know which direction your speech is heading.
Finally, you should start to warm up your body and get used to standing. Darlene Price, author of Well Said! In presentations and conversations that yield results , it is recommended that you get up at least five minutes before you must continue:
The sitting position is motionless, passive and inactive. While standing, you awaken energy in advance, give your body the opportunity to warm up and take a pose ready for action.
Standing, you make the blood flow and the body is comfortable in the position in which it will be for a while. From here, you can also do some stretching to relax a little.
Weird
The most powerful piece of advice I can recommend is to play a little naughty. This can mean different things to different people, but the general idea is to act in a way that you would not normally do before you go outside. For me it means making faces, singing in an unpleasant voice, or dancing like an idiot. I do this because it helps me remind myself that I am in control of how embarrassed or afraid I am.
If I can be funny and feel comfortable with myself, then I should feel comfortable with myself as a perfectly normal person in front of other people. So get rid of all your oddities in any way you can and remind yourself that all you do in front of your audience is talk. They don’t know what you did to warm up, and they have no idea that you danced your ass backstage; they just see the person sharing information.
If my way of getting weird isn’t for you, there are many more things you can do. In the video above, YouTuber Impromptu Guru recommends you “make a penguin.” Squeeze your shoulders to your neck as tight as possible, pressing your arms to your sides, then waddle like a penguin. It helps release the tension in some of the stress-filled areas of concern, and is a great way to get weird. You may feel a little stupid, but if you feel a little stupid, you will feel normal a lot easier.
If you need a quick fix right before heading out into the street, Patricia Fripp of the Advanced Public Speaking Institute recommends putting on a Taylor Swift and shaking it off :
… stand on one leg and shake the other. When you put your foot back on the ground, it will be lighter than the other. Now switch legs and shake. You want your energy to go through the floor and out of your head. This sounds pretty cosmic; this is not true. This is a practical technique used by actors. Shake hands … quickly. Hold them over your head, bending at the wrists and elbows, and then lower your arms down again. This will make your hand movements more natural.
Find a way to get around and remind yourself that everyone is weird, including people watching you. This is an aspect of our humanity that we forget about when we approach the podium, and instead perceive ourselves as talking to ideal people who will criticize our every move. This is one of the reasons why portraying your audience naked is one of the most classic pieces of advice. This makes them vulnerable, not you. As weird as you are – dancing, strength poses, or silly exercises – really succumb to it and you will feel much less stressed. You will feel comfortable and ready to be just yourself.
Public speaking is not an easy task , so don’t worry if it takes you a while to get used to it. It can be scary, but if you learn better, you will find that it will be worth it. Don’t humiliate yourself, know your material from the front and back, and you will immediately amaze the audience.