Best Advice of the Year for Talking to Kids
At one time, parents were preparing for The Talk, in which, as we all know, one topic was once raised: sex. But these days, thanks in large part to the Internet and what we all like to call our “political climate”, parents are constantly chatting with their children. Topics range from porn to suicide, racism to climate change.
We’ve written extensively this year about how to start (and continue) various “important conversations” with our kids.
Changing of the climate
As with any big, complex and troubling topic like this, it’s not like you push them one day with something like, “So I think it’s time to tell you how we are destroying the world for your generation. Instead, you can start discussing this topic while they are young and develop it as they get older and develop the ability to understand the problem on a deeper level.
Sex and “sexual competence”
More importantly, when they have sex, will we do everything in our power as parents to help them feel ready in terms of protection, consent, safety and time? A new study in the UK, published in the BMJ Sexual and Reproductive Health journal, found that significant numbers of young people “transition to sexual activity in circumstances that are incompatible with positive sexual health.”
Suicide
There is still a lot we don’t know about preventing youth suicide, but we do know one thing: silence doesn’t work .
It is important for us to talk to our children about suicide, and when we do, use the words: “suicide”, “kill yourself”, “harm yourself.”
White supremacy
Since social media and the Internet are available to most children by the time they are teenagers (and often much earlier), you cannot simply model good values. White supremacists are spreading their messages through YouTube and social media, and are slowly and discreetly recruiting children through massively multiplayer online games.
Hate speech
When using any new website, social media, or online game your child uses, make sure they also know how to report and block the offending user. Talk to them about how “reporting” and “locking” go hand in hand. Communicating protects others from incitement to hatred, and blocking protects them from personally seeing more hate speech in the future.
LGBTQ issues
We need to talk to our children about LGBTQ + topics so that they can be allies and advocates when needed. Approximately 4.5% of Americans identify as LGBTQ + , so there is a good chance that there will be at least one LGBTQ + child in every class. Making our children allies can help your child feel safe and confident both in and outside the classroom. And, more importantly, to demonstrate that we are allies, meaning that if one of our children identify themselves as LGBTQ +, he will be sure that we – them a safe place where you can feel unconditionally loved and supported.
Porn
It’s no longer a question if they stumble upon this hidden collection of Playboy magazines in the basement. They are more likely to see porn on the Internet – either through a fairly innocent Google search, or through advertisements on a seemingly safe website, or thanks to a kid at school. Even if you work hard to keep them safe on the Internet at home … exposure to porn is inevitable for most kids.
I know this is a lot. Don’t let the sheer amount of nonsense we have to solve with our kids overwhelm you; you don’t have to do all of this today. Take advantage of this advice in 2020 as we continue to talk to our kids about all the big and bad things.