How to Make Your Little One More Patient
Remember the last time you asked your toddler to wait just a second for something and it only made him more desperate and unforgiving about what he wanted? Toddlers are known for many things, and patience is not one of them. They are newbies and need to flex their patience muscles. But as parents, it is possible that we are not teaching them how to strengthen these muscles in the most effective way.
Dr. Harvey Karp, a pediatrician best known for his book The Happiest Child in the Block , writes on his blog that patience stretching can help toddlers learn to wait a little bit. Here’s how he does it:
Give them what they want – almost
The first thing to do when your toddler wants something is to repeat what he wants so that he knows you understand. “Oh, you want some more milk!” you can say when they point to their glass, or “Want to read Goodnight Moon again!” time to sleep. Now, Karp says , you have to start to give them what they want …
BUT … then suddenly raise your finger and exclaim, “Wait! Wait! Just one second! »As if you just remembered something important. Turn away and pretend you’re looking for something.
Now really give it to them
After a few seconds, turn them over and hand them milk or start reading a book, but before doing so, praise their patience by saying, “Good expectation!” Karp says this teaches young children that waiting isn’t so bad, and if you ask them to wait, you’ll still keep your word and give them what they ask for.
Start with five seconds and practice every day, gradually working up to 10 seconds, then 20, then 30, and so on.
Enter timer
As your little one gets used to waiting, Karp suggests setting a timer to help him exercise more.
During a quiet period, show your baby how the timer works: “Look! And when Mr Dinger says ding! (make it ring) then mom will be back quickly! “
Later, when your three-year-old child starts harassing you for something, say, “Of course!” and almost gave it to him, but then suddenly announced: “Wait, wait! Wait a second, honey! I have to go to my dad. As soon as Mr. Dinger calls, I’ll give you ____! “(You can invite your child to play or watch a book until the timer rings, but don’t insist.)
Again, start with small 20 seconds and work up to one to two minutes. He says they need to shake things up from time to time by setting the timer for shorter periods of time (to give the impression that the wait is going faster than they expected) or offering a secondary reward, such as a special treat, for a good wait.
This may sound a little teasing at first, but Karp makes the distinction that teasing means “taunting the child by offering what he wants without intending to give it away.” You are going to give them what they want as soon as they stretch their patience a little.