How to Love Yourself With Tara Brac
This week we are learning to practice true self-compassion with renowned psychotherapist and Buddhist meditation teacher Tara Brach. Tara is the author of Radical Acceptance: Taking Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha and the latest work Radical Compassion: Learning to Love Yourself and Your World Through the Practice of RAIN . In addition to hundreds of talks on mindfulness and meditation throughout his career, Tara’s self-titled podcast also receives over 1.5 million monthly downloads.
In this episode, Tara explores the practice of RAIN – recognizing, resolving, exploring, and nurturing – and how it can help us release our self-criticism and boost our self-esteem.
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Highlights from this week’s series
From an interview with Tara Brac
On recognizing your own need for self-compassion:
I remember one day when I just realized, “Oh, I’m really stuck in shame and I feel bad.” And I did RAIN [and] admitted, “Okay. I am angry, irritable and depressed. ” And then I let it be there. And when I explored, I got to the same deep place of real deep shame that something is fundamentally wrong. And I could feel the emptiness and pain, and just the horror and fear that are associated with it. And when I felt it, and I could sense how many moments in my life that feeling actually prevailed and deprived me of intimacy with others or creativity, it takes so much energy to just be turned towards myself. It was kind of a moment when the suffering was so obvious that I began to feel real tenderness for myself. This is where caring really comes in.
On the importance of practicing mindfulness daily:
I really encourage people to meditate daily in order to manifest presence in some way. I know that I have done this in my life because I have lived in a spiritual community for many years. But then, when my son was born and I left the community, my practice was shaken. And I remember at some point I realized that it really was the very essence of what allowed me to move through the day with an open heart and presence. So I dedicated myself to every day, no matter what. But I had a back door, no matter how long. And it kept me going … Most of the time I sit for 30 or 45 minutes. But there are days when I realize that I didn’t have a chance, and I sit down, take three long deep breaths and offer a prayer for all beings to be happy and clang, I’m on the pillow. So what I suggest is that what will really make RAIN work with difficult emotions and truly love yourself in the healing process is the foundation of daily practice to keep it going. Rumi said it beautifully, he said, “Do you visit yourself regularly?”
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