Tell Your Child About Your Day With This Question.
This chorus is played all over the world every afternoon or early evening. Parents everywhere ask: “How was school?” And their kids say, “Okay,” far more preoccupied with finding a snack and a good TV show than talking about their day.
We parents try to be creative. We switch it. We formulate our questions in such a way that it is impossible to give a monosyllabic, evasive answer to them. Sometimes I want to ask my son, who has hated weekly music classes since the first week of kindergarten, “How annoying was music today?” He ponders the class for a few minutes and then usually ends up with a joke about something stupid or funny that happened in class, so maybe it wasn’t that bad. On the other hand, my husband usually chooses one of his two helpers: “Who were you sitting with at lunch today?” or “Tell me something interesting that happened.”
However, they see right through it . They know exactly what you are doing and will play along less and less as they get older. But writer Joanna Goddard may have gotten to one question, in fact they want to be answered, and may already be thinking about anyway. And, as a bonus, it can give you an idea of their cool and social dynamics.
Here is the question: “Who has problems today?”
My kids LOVE talking about it. It’s fun! It’s dramatic! This leads to more stories! Often, in response to stupidity, they themselves (Anton calls himself a “joker”) or friends for funny reasons. It also opens the door to talking about empathy and feelings. Of course, this question is not something you would like to ask all the time, but when you are desperate, it answers.
She is right. In fact, my son often tells me about this even without my prompting. The kids want to talk about who argued with whom, who got caught with a pile of forbidden Pokémon cards, or even who should have gotten into trouble but somehow got away with exercise during recess or used a few select words at lunch. Table.
They figure out how to get along with each other, how to control all of these impulses, and how to deal with life’s little injustices.
One thing to keep in mind, however, as some commentators on Goddard’s article have pointed out, is that some children are called “bad children” for reasons beyond their control. They may have a diagnosis or injury that your child is unaware of. If the answers you hear go beyond stupidity or always seem to be centered around one or two kids, this can also be an opportunity to talk about empathy and the fact that we never fully know what someone else is going through.
And you can even soften her question down to something like “Who fought today?”, Which will make the conversation less gossipy and more caring, while still bringing up a topic they really want to talk about.