60 Seconds of Staring at a Stranger Helped Me Better Understand Life in Quarantine
Physical distancing is necessary to keep our communities safe and healthy, yes, but it certainly makes us all so much more lonely. Yes, we’re flattening the curve – and that’s critical – but it’s hard to cut yourself off from friends and family for weeks. Zoom calls simply aren’t a substitute for genuine human communication.
This is where Human Minute from Human Online comes in.
This simple video chat platform connects two strangers remotely and asks them to just look each other in the eye for a full minute – the idea is that you will foster a genuine connection through silence.
Individual artists and entire spiritual traditions have used similar techniques to facilitate the emotional connection between people, and there is ample scientific evidence that the simple act of looking someone in the eye can be a profound experience. Maybe it will also help us find a moment of genuine connection in these troubled times.
How to use Human Minute
- Go to Human.Online and click Login. Click Create Account if you don’t have one and follow the verification instructions.
- Once logged in, scroll down to the video window and click Connect.
- Agree with user guidelines – don’t talk, gesture, communicate in writing, and, you know, don’t show another user.
- Then you have to wait for the site to connect you to someone. You will receive an on-screen notification when another user is ready to connect; if not, you can try joining a larger multiplayer “meeting” if available.
- Then click “Allow” to allow Human Online to access your device’s camera. The onscreen guide helps you customize the camera view for best results.
- Click “Start” to connect to another person.
- Here’s the hard part: Make eye contact with your match for 60 seconds. The timer bar will show for the first 10 seconds, then disappear and reappear within the last 10 seconds, so you can prepare to end the “chat”.
- You can also click End Connection to end the video earlier.
- After the call, you can send “Thank you” to another member or report any abusive behavior as needed. When you’re ready to close the window, click Continue .
How does it feel to look at a stranger for 60 seconds
It’s one thing to know how to explain useHuman for a minute, but you’re probably wondering what it actually feels, so I’ll share my experience.
I saw Human Minute users admit that they felt very anxious in the moments before watching a video, and expected to feel the same, but found that I was most curious. This is partly due to my personality: I am not necessarily a shy person. I studied well in theater, loved taking public speaking courses, and still love being around and in front of other people most of the time. This is not to mention the fact that I have been publicly sharing and publishing content on the Internet since my teens. Sure, I have an aversion to certain social media, but overall, I am okay with strangers.
However, I will not deny that I had reservations. The Minute person’s experience is highly personal, and while 60 seconds seems so ephemeral most of the time, I really wondered how it would feel to stare at a stranger for that long.
As it turned out, everything is not so bad.
I loaded up the website, created an account and clicked connect. After a very quick tutorial and review of the recommendations, I got a notification that another user was waiting for me. I clicked “I’m ready,” the video popped up full screen and I suddenly saw an elderly gentleman on my screen. The progress bar at the top began to slowly move down and then disappeared.
I noticed that we were sitting in very similar rooms between the shelves. I thought to myself, “It’s like looking at yourself in a few decades,” and smiled, partly out of embarrassment. Then he smiled. Then we both smiled more, and after that I kind of just stopped thinking.
The next thing I remember is that the progress bar has disappeared from sight again, signaling that we are nearing the end of our shared moment. I expected 60 seconds to seem like an awkward eternity, but it actually went by pretty quickly.
He silently nodded at the last moment, and the connection was cut off automatically. On the page, I was asked to write down how I was feeling and I clicked to thank the other person as soon as I received a notification that they did the same.
I took a moment to comprehend exactly what I was feeling, and I can say that I really got a positive reaction. The past few weeks have been difficult for me, as I am sure others have been. I tried to use remote group sessions to keep in touch with my friends, and I became quite good at talking to neighbors across the street, but these situations were at best superficial interactions. And while I can’t say that watching a stranger for 60 seconds defeated my quarantine blues – and while it wasn’t the transcendental experience that changed my life, the Human Online brand represents it – so far it has definitely had a long-term impact on the quality of my day. …
Obviously, the likelihood of abuse of a platform like this is high, and I don’t blame people for staying away because they don’t want to be shown by a stranger or exposed to other disturbing images. Likewise, the branding of Human Online is very close to the slogan “New Age”; some people may be intimidated by this, and to be honest. But when it came to the experience itself, I found it oddly touching. I suggest giving it a try if you’re interested.
[ Wired ]