How to Explain to Your Children Why You Are Celebrating Christmas When You Are Not a Religious
One of the big shifts between our generation of parents and ours is the increase in the number of families who choose to raise their children without religious convictions. In a 2019 survey by the American Enterprise Institute , only 42% of families with children under 18 report regularly attending religious services – compared with 61% of parents who are now over 65 (and have adult children) who reported that they regularly attended religious services when their children were young.
In practical terms, this means that many parents who grew up on holidays such as Christmas and Easter in a Christian home now celebrate the same holidays with their children, but in secular ways. It can be confusing for children who have friends or classmates who celebrate the same holiday, but from a more religious perspective.
First, talk to your children about religion.
At some point, your child may come home from school or from a neighbor’s house asking why you don’t have a nativity scene or why you never told him about the baby Jesus. If they do, it is a great start to a conversation about religion; but even if they do not ask, it is important to have such conversations throughout childhood so that they can better understand the beliefs of others.
For advice on how to do this, we spoke with journalist Wendy Thomas Russell , author of Relax, It’s Just God: How and Why Talk to Your Children About Religion If You Don’t Believe in a Religion , earlier this year:
According to Russell, openness should be one of your main guiding principles when talking to children about their religious beliefs (or disbelief, as the case may be). You can talk openly about what you believe, even if those beliefs are different from the religion you are discussing, and you can discuss both points of view without being ashamed of anyone.
“I think when it comes down to it, it’s actually not too difficult,” she says. “We just complicate it because we have all these assumptions and all this baggage, to be honest, from our own upbringing and our own experiences that kind of colors the way we look at this situation.”
So if they come to you and ask about Jesus, you can say, “Well, people who are Christians believe that a man named Jesus was the son of God, and this is what people of other religions believe, and this is what I believe I am. “All this can be very prosaic without telling the children themselves what to believe in – this is what they will (and should) determine on their own over time.
Talk about non -religious holiday traditions and embrace them.
However, just because you are not focusing on Christian beliefs does not mean that you cannot celebrate Christmas – you probably just want to use non-religious ways of celebrating. And there is plenty to choose from.
“Most of the ways we celebrate religious holidays have nothing to do with Christianity,” said Sarah Miller, executive director of Camp Quest , which supports inclusive secular summer camps for youth.
For example, many Christmas traditions, including the Christmas tree itself, have their roots in paganism and were originally dedicated to celebrating the winter solstice, which is the longest night of the year. When you have no electricity, no central heating, and the ground is covered with frost or snow for months, celebrating the longest night of the year with an evergreen tree adornment was a sign of hope that the snow will melt in the coming months. and the flowers will bloom again.
As another example, Easter was originally founded on the vernal equinox , when eggs and rabbits represented fertility and the arrival of spring. It is believed that the word “Easter” comes from the goddess of spring and fertility. When it’s been a long, cold winter, it’s natural to want to celebrate the rebirth of the first spring plants.
Instead of reading religious stories at Christmas, you can read books that explain the history of these holidays, such as The Return of the Light: Twelve Tales from Around the World for the Winter Solstice by Caroline McVicar Edwards, The Shortest Day: Celebrating the Winter Solstice . Wendy Pfeffer or “ Oh what we believed in! ”, Which explains some of the history of some religious traditions.
And then you can draw on your favorite traditions, whether it’s baking cookies, decorating a Christmas tree, organizing a family dinner, volunteering with a local nonprofit, or stuffing stockings.
“Do what you love about the family,” Miller said.