Use a Large Mason Jar to Make a Countess Sized Cosmo
I’m usually not particularly fascinated by videos of rich people “confronting” being “locked” in their mansions (or worse, singing), but that’s because most of these videos are deaf, uneven, and generally useless. … But this video from Ina Garten, the barefoot countess, her first name, is the complete opposite of all this.
This video is helpful. This video is adorable. This video is funny . This video shows you how to make a giant cosmopolitan (before 10am). Cosmo is a good drink that lacks credibility due to its sexism. When Ina notices (ironically) “nobody stops,” it’s both poignant and joyful, because the lack of extra people (ay) means more cosmo for the Countess (and Jeffrey? Maybe ?? Where is this guy ???).
Ina uses a giant cocktail shaker to make a big drink, and this is where class division may appear for some of us. As a petty bourgeois, I only have one cocktail shaker, and it’s a standard size. Luckily, another Instagram icon – Steak Diane – has an elegant solution: just use a giant water lily.
If you have a large enough shaker, you can skip the pitcher step and just pour the ingredients – 2 cups of good vodka, 1 cup of Cointreau or Triple Sec, 1 cup of cranberry juice cocktail and half a cup of freshly squeezed lime juice – directly into the ice jar, shake and strain through a large kitchen strainer. If your bank is not that big, you can work in batches like Ina and Diane.
Some of you might be thinking that this is just a cute trick, that we all laughed a little at quarantine, that creating a giant cosmopolitan is not a trick. “What if I can’t drink it all?” you are perplexed because you don’t believe in yourself, or in me, or in Inna. “What if I lose?”
Oh my dear, what if you fly ? Pre-dispensing heaps of cocktails has always been in motion, and once your cosmo is properly diluted, it can be stored in the freezer and rationed as needed, making the giant COSMO an isolation hack bona fide. These are tough times, Inna notes; you can’t be too prepared.