How to Argue a Baby and a Newborn at the Same Time
Except for one (very) long weekend as foster parent, I have never carried a baby and a newborn at the same time. But that very long weekend gave me a (relatively) brief idea of how crazy and tedious it would be. We, as a society, pay so much attention to preparing for the championship. But this second child? That’s when shit becomes a reality.
So I asked all of the seasoned parents in our parenting group Offspring on Facebook : How can parents prepare (and survive) the birth of their second child? And they gave some solid advice.
Prepare your baby in advance
Even if your little one is too young to understand what pregnancy is, what a baby is, or how his life is about to change, there are a few things you can do to get him ready.
Talking about your baby throughout your pregnancy and reading a lot of books about older / older sisters is a good start. If one parent is going to take more care of the newborn, such as a nursing mother, the other parent should begin to take on most of the parenting responsibilities of the baby during pregnancy so that there are no drastic changes in, say, their daily routine before bedtime. the moment you return from the hospital with the baby in tow.
A few months before the birth of her second child , Offspring Facebook group member Lauren said it was helpful to lean toward getting her toddler interested in activities that he could do mostly on his own for some time.
“If you think the toddler is too young,” says Lauren, ” Djeco makes some great progressive puzzles that teach them the mechanics – my two and a half now solves [puzzles] with 24-48 pieces.”
Get your little one to help
Young children desperately want to be great helpers. Even though they may not seem particularly interested in ( or disliked ) with your newborn, they love the positive attention they receive for helping you. They can go for a new diaper, changing blanket or pacifier. They can help during a diaper change by handing you tissues, or they can help you put on socks for your baby. These small tasks may take longer with your little one to “help”, but it will be worth it if he takes pride in his work.
And as often as possible – especially if the baby is like, “Eh, don’t worry too much about this new family member” – call him to share the good moments with him. When a child smiles or is in a playful mood when he is getting a little older, it is time to try to get his little brother or sister into a lot of fun.
Below. Those. Expectations.
Get ready: there will be a lot of crying. Baby, baby (… and you). When both babies are crying, work with the baby first, if possible, so as not to infuriate him or make the situation worse.
And all this extra screen time? Great, as Kelly from our Facebook group reminds us:
Don’t be too hard on yourself! My oldest son has more screen time now than I would like, but we are watching instructional videos, and to be honest, that’s okay. Because of this, I had more anxiety. In the end, it was my husband who said that I needed to be a little softer with myself in what I expected to do in the day with both babies. Once I gave up on those expectations, things became much easier.
Some more ideas
Our team members shared a few other nifty tips on how to get through these early grueling months:
- “ Have a breastfeeding box ready, full of things you and your baby can do together while breastfeeding. Ideas to visit: favorite books, bubbles you can inflate and babies to pop, a doll or teddy bear to feed, etc. “(Elaine)
- Separate Safe Zones! I had a playpen for a one year old baby and a crib for a baby. When I needed to go to the toilet, I could put both of them in safe places from which they could not escape. ” (Kirsty)
- “If you can, keep sending your toddler to kindergarten while you’re on maternity leave. You want / need to be alone with the infant and your toddler needs such a structure. Of course, this may not be possible given COVID-19, but when / if it’s an option, do it. ” (Stephanie)
- “Be intent on addressing the youngest child as you would the old one. “[Youngest child], I’ll be back soon; I need to help [the older child] with xyz, “so that the older child doesn’t just hear you tell him all the time that he needs to wait for something until you finish helping the child.” (Ashley)
- Carry your baby . This frees up your hands to guide your baby. Double strollers are fine too, but seriously, carry a baby. On walks, around the house, whenever you like. (Everyone in the group)
Oh, and another wisdom comes from a member of the Mez group who says, “Eat when someone else eats.” This is a new, better version of the phrase “Sleep when the baby sleeps.”