What Do You Want to Hear From the White Allies?
This is an incredibly difficult and emotional time for our country and the whole world. The countless deaths of blacks at the hands of the police and others are a constant reminder of how far we must go as a society, seeing everyone as equal and worthy of the same thing in life, including the right to exist.
Black people who are forced to put up with this injustice simply because of their skin color are added even more weight when people say all the wrong things.
“Are you okay?”
“How do you feel?”
They seem harmless, and while they are (hopefully) pronounced with the best intentions, the answer should be obvious. This is the time of mourning. When you mourn, you might want the people who care about you to send a small gift or just a reminder that they care about you. Maybe you want your friends not to insert their own personal concerns by trying to say they understand when in fact they don’t and cannot.
Or maybe you prefer that people don’t text you at all during this time – because you are depressed and exhausted by the feeling that you need to explain all the nuances of what is happening right now. And you also don’t have all the answers, and don’t expect to get them.
For me, I always ask people to think about how they would feel if depressed. What would you need from someone if you were grieving or experiencing heightened anxiety?
So, I urge you readers to help our white allies see how they can help. What questions would you like them to ask, what would you like them to say or do?
Feel free to leave comments and we’ll share them in a new post tomorrow.