How to Make Your Child Like You?
I like kids. I can change a diaper. I know how to sit down and dive into the Encanto . But I need to know how to get a fearsome 9 year old to really respect, have fun, or (more realistically) just tolerate me.
When you look at tips on “how to please kids,” a lot of the advice is either vague or aimed at toddlers (who, in terms of conversation, are usually easier to win over than an indomitable teenager). An often pop-up tip is to just “be funny.” Okay. How? Do kids want to hear my line about dating apps? Can we read some New Yorkers cartoons and laugh softly, shake our heads in caustic appreciation? Are the kids still watching SpongeBob, or will the mention of it make me instantly freak out?
I have to clarify that I’m not entirely helpless: I have years of babysitting behind me and I usually do pretty well with younger children. I would never have thought to ask a high school student what his favorite subject is in school, because I remember trying to answer that question when I was younger. You might just as well ask an adult “how they enjoy being an accountant.” This is not a starter.
When meeting someone’s child, I advise you to accustom yourself to the fact that no matter what age the child names, I then add “a hundred.” (They usually like it, until about six or seven … hundreds of years old). My father asks for a high-five and then acts out the excessive pain when the child hits his arm. It’s too dramatic, but the audience always likes it.
However, every time someone claims that “the kids love me,” I want to know why and, more importantly, how. What tips and tricks make them so cute for a pint? So I turn to you for help: what do you do when you meet a child who is shy or difficult to impress you? Are you acting like a child yourself, or do you have better results when you treat them like adults? Do you have a reliable back pocket trick that you can use to win your child’s approval? A metaphorical trick, or maybe a literal one? Leave your suggestions in the comments and we can collect them to share with others in future posts. If it works, none of us will be afraid of a 9-year-old anymore.