What to Do If You Can’t Stand Your Workout Partner
One of the functions of the gym is to be a social place where we can interact with others during workouts, but sometimes there is a certain person that you just don’t want to chat with between sets of squats. Whether your buddy keeps showing up at the gym or you’re forced to share your home gym with him (hello honey), here’s a tip to keep a friendship by exercising on your own.
First, realize that it is perfectly okay to train alone or with only certain training partners. Elite weightlifter Mattie Rogers recently revealed that she is not training with her partner Sean. Her trainer, Amy Anaya Everett, intervened:
I think training with your significant other often leads to unnecessary fights … I’ve rarely seen this work in my entire life because, as you said, people have different levels of concentration and need different things in their training. That being said, it works EXCELLENT for some people. My advice: always make a serious effort, communicate your needs, and if that doesn’t work, STOP DOING before it becomes toxic to your relationship!
Another variation of this problem emerged recently on Reddit , where the athlete asked for advice because she has a constant schedule at the gym and her friend always shows up at the same time and suggests they will work out together.
Determine what you want from the situation
Communication is key here, but you need to figure out your own needs as well as the needs of the other person. Why do they keep appearing? They clearly want or need something from their gym friendships, and maybe so will you. You may just have to find another way to accomplish this.
For example, if you are training a friend who is new to fitness, this should not happen during training. Help them be independent. Ask them what questions they have before training, and then make a plan for how to communicate with them afterwards, maybe just once a week. Show them other places to look for information.
If your friend wants to hang out with someone, and you are a more focused and purposeful person, you both will have to recognize this difference in style and plan accordingly.
If you need to share with someone – say you and your partner use the same home gym – create a schedule that allows you to strategically avoid each other.
Consider connecting at a different time
You can also train “together” without doing the same thing or looking each other in the eye. In Before Times, I went to the gym with my husband, and we noticed each other on the bench, but after that each one finished training independently.
Redditor with his omnipresent friend decided to meet up with his girlfriend for a stretch at the end of a workout, which is a great way to chat and cool off after you’ve finished your focused work.
If you are a runner, you might meet a friend on the treadmill. Maybe you train 6×400, and they just want to run a little – no big deal. You can chat during your water breaks and cool off together at the end of the day.
Now my husband and I go to the home gym at different times. I like to be focused and lonely during my morning workouts on weekdays, and he goes about his business several times a week. But Saturdays are different.
Saturday is our common deadlift day. This is a more relaxing workout than my regular workout, and I still usually take long breaks between my deadlift sets. We set up camp chairs in the garage, play tunes and chat as we take turns getting up. It’s a fun time for both of us, and it’s all the more special since we don’t train in this format for the rest of the week.
Even if you and your partner or friend cannot work together, you can still communicate in other ways. For example, brunch after a run is a classic option. That way, you can share your fitness interest without sharing your gear, rest time, and every second of your attention.