Children’s Culture Guide for Adults: Halloween Is Coming
Halloween, boils and ghouls are coming, so I’ll send the Crypt Keeper and bring horror to the Out of Reach Adult’s Guide this week! I’m talking about the menacing bogeymen, TikTok vices and the unspeakable cosmic horror of the Korean boy band BTS.
How much should you be afraid of Tik Tok?
How angry is TikTok? The US President has called an extremely popular application for video sharing threat to national security . With bated breath, the media cover the many dangers this poses to your child, with TikTokers encouraging Benadryl overdose , filing their own teeth and committing particularly time-consuming suicides .
But then again, the gay teens from TikTok may have helped stop Donald Trump ‘s rally (well, actually , they may not have done that, but it was funny how many people believed it at the time), and TikTok says that wants its users to do well in the world by sharing videos that encourage education , combat climate change and safer use of the Internet .
To decide “Tik Tok, good or evil?” Question once and for all, I spent a lot of time on his trend graph and didn’t find any good or bad in it. It’s just dumb. TikTok features endless videos of rodeo monkeys , kids trying to be funny , and a perennial favorite of guys getting tossed in balls . TikTok is evil only if you think that children who spend their limited time on earth on these things are evil, but in fact, if you look at the world we left, it’s hard to blame them.
Viral Video of the Week: Cougar Run
Kyle Burgess ‘s video of his run in Slate Canyon near Provo, Utah went viral for the most horrific reason imaginable: Burgess was pursued and threatened by a deadly cougar as he followed the trail.
The nightmare begins after Burgess spots the mountain lion cubs near the path he is running on. Then the cat mom appears and starts following the runner. Sucks. Burgess responds the same way you do: “Fuck. Fuck. Oh shit, ”he repeats, backing away slowly.
Over the next six minutes, Burgess basically goes through all five stages of grief: bargaining, despair, and so on. Fortunately, there is a happy ending: the big cat eventually turns and escapes. Props for Burgess for answering exactly as you should; most of us would turn around and run … and end up being eaten.
Speaking of viral cougar videos, over 14 million people watched rock and roll witch Stevie Nicks make her version of the Dreams video that I detailed last week . Over 14 million people watched Nyx lace up his roller skates in front of the piano, lip-syncing to his own song.
This week in tech: Google Frightgeist
Google recently launched Frightgeist , a site that uses intimidatingly comprehensive access to online data to give us a preview of America’s Halloween costume preferences. The most popular costumes in America are the witch, the dinosaur, and Harley Quinn. What a frightening simplicity.
The site gets more interesting as you delve deeper into local preferences. As you know, the trendiest costume in Casper, Wyoming is The Handmaid’s Tale? or that people in Fairbanks, Alaska are looking for ” Llama Suit” in the first place? My own search for “John Maynard Keynes Sexy Costumes” didn’t make the list anywhere, although I search for it at least six times a day.
Music this week: listening to hits (so not necessary)
Like you, I haven’t listened to any new music since Blue Oyster Cult released Agents of Fortune, but as a public service, I checked out the top three Billboard singles this week. This is what ends up in your children’s ears.
“Savage Love (Laxed – Siren Beat)” by Jawsh685 and Jason Derulo: This fun pop tune is the number one song in America right now. “Savage Love” is the fruit of a collaboration between a 17-year-old New Zealand producer and a Florida-based veteran singer / songwriter. It includes a tiny dose of reggae filled with gallons of production gimmicks. It’s both incredibly memorable and instantly forgettable. Really awful.
BTS’s “Dynamite”: On the other hand, it’s not scary. Each of the seven members of Korean boy band BTS is adorable and so popular that a recent not-so-thoughtful interview sparked an international incident. Dynamite is a pop perfection with a 1970s disco vibe. You should listen to it, unless you’re too cool for cool stuff.
“WAP” by Cardi B feat. Megan T Stallion: Cardi B and Megan T Stallion are the rappers who rule the world, and their salacious ode to female sexuality is a blast that will shake your walls. It’s the best song on this list, and arguably the best song ever recorded, but it’s not for kids. Even if your child already likes it. Even if you don’t know that they are listening to it.
This Week’s Gaming: Phazophobia
If you hear screams from your gamer child’s room, he may be watching a stream of phasmophobia. The multiplayer horror game has been burning Twitch charts since its release a month ago. In Phasmo, players are a group of ghost hunters who seek out spirits using tools such as cameras, crosses, EMF readers, and Ouija boards. It’s the perfect horror game to watch other people play because, according to Nathan Grayson of Kotaku , when Phasemophobia works it’s like an impromptu horror movie its players are going through , and when it crashes it’s fun. … However, unlike horror movies, viewers can chat with players / actors, so if you warn them not to open the damn door, they might actually listen.