Never Joke Fat, Especially in Front of Children.
This pandemic has given each of us an abundance of physical and mental junk: anxiety, isolation, depression, inertia, and insomnia, to name just a few. For some, it has also led to more frequent eating of less healthy (read: comfort) foods. And that condescension (which we honestly deserve) has led to some inevitable jokes about “COVID 19″ or ” quarantine 15 ” – the situational cousin of the more traditional “freshman 15” who gains weight.
No matter what else is going on in the world – and there is a lot going on there – we cannot stop talking about how much weight we are all gaining right now. The point is, we need to stop, especially when our children are within earshot. Haley Jule offers us this reminder in the Montreal Gazette :
No matter how careful we are to tell them that they are exactly what they should be, they hear us mourning the fit of our favorite pair of jeans. They read over our shoulders when we laugh at the hundredth fat Quarantine 15 joke that hits our social media feed. But it’s not funny. Funny jokes are never funny, especially now that children are listening.
Children of all ages, genders and sizes are faced with artificially created visions of smooth legs and tight bellies, while their own bodies are rapidly changing. Teens getting more screen time than usual are especially likely to face pandemic fat-loss diets, dangerous summer body detox and memes depicting Barbie next to her quarantined cousin Carby. They seem to be confirming the myth that fat is fun. It is the low-hanging fruit of the comedic world.
Recent history – especially this shitty show of the year – has brought out the worst in many of us. Between politics and a pandemic, we run into each other and we underestimate ourselves. But our kids have been watching us closely all this time, partly because they are with us more now than ever, but also because it’s such a surreal time. They will receive tips from us on how to deal with stress, how to talk about others, and how to take care of themselves.
If we’re complaining about weight gain or a diet we need to start on Monday – even if we’re trying to ignore it – what messages do we send to children who are already bombarded with the idea that a perfectly fitted body is the only decent body?
Our kids need to hear us talk less about exercising to “burn this whole pie” and more about exercising to “make our bodies stronger.” If you need help to better promote body positivity among your children, these publications should help you:
- How to Raise a Body-Positive Child
- Teach girls to think about what their bodies are doing, not how they look.
- What Parents Should Know About Boys and Eating Disorders
- How to Solve Your Teen Daughter’s Body Hair Problems
- How to talk to teens about losing weight
But what it really boils down to is this: don’t joke in front of the kids. Don’t tease your partner about his new pandemic love arms or how even your fat pants are getting cozy. Don’t even laugh at overweight politicians , no matter how tempting that might be. And if you hear others doing it in front of your children, declare it.
If now laughing at someone else’s weight is fair play, it suggests that the size or shape of the body is something to be judged and ridiculed. And this is a message that we want to actively avoid with our kids – now and forever.