How Not to Be a Touchy Loser
Former Lifehacker writer Patrick Allan once explained how not to lose in competitive games . This is good advice for anyone older than your toddler, but it might also be worth revisiting to apply the lessons learned in the context of the higher stakes. Let’s say elections.
Congratulations to the winner right away
“A simple handshake, or a ‘well done’ shake, turns our attention completely to them,” says Allan. “That way, if you need to sulk, you can do it yourself without drawing unnecessary attention.” When John McCain lost the 2008 presidential election to Barack Obama, he not only congratulated the winner with a private phone call, but gave a speech in which he sought to rally his own supporters to a greater cause – the success and well-being of all Americans, not only those who vote for that or another party –in eloquent speech .
Think about the consequences in the real world (or lack thereof)
“You want to prove that you are the best,” says Allan, “and that you deserve respect. This kind of thinking is hard to shake because it is ingrained in your personality, but it can really help you when things go wrong. ” Especially when it comes to presidential elections, it is important to think about the consequences if one of the candidates simply refuses to accept the results of a free and fair democratic process. If Americans cannot trust the integrity of the electoral process – especially if outlandish claims or conspiracy theories are supported without any evidence or misleading evidence – it will harm the nation more than it can help one candidate . If you truly believe that you are a winner, there are legal processes you can follow, but preventing the natural course of a change of power with contrived lawsuits just because you don’t like the results is not quite the same.
Remove yourself from the situation if it’s too much
According to Allan, “Saying nothing is always better than saying or doing something that you later regret. If your anger is raging inside, leave the table, put down the controller, get up from the table, or sit on a bench. It won’t always look good to others, but it will look better than waving and screaming. ” If you’re used to jumping on social media to complain when something goes wrong, it might be time to turn off your phone.
Practice being a graceful winner
“A graceful winner will also help you not be an evil loser,” says Allan. “If you can manage to avoid gloating or gossip when you happen to win, the people you are playing against will likely respond with the same respect.” Of course, if you have the experience of a clear winner, you cannot expect people to suddenly start treating you with baby gloves on the moment you are knocked off the pedestal. But maybe something to remember for the future?
Remember why you play from the start
“You need to remember the essence of all this,” says Allan. “It’s okay to be competitive and no one ever said you need to enjoy losing, but it’s important to put things in perspective. Victory and defeat are only very small parts of the whole experience. ” Using again the example of a presidential race, the winner of which is responsible for leading the country and setting an agenda that will affect the lives of hundreds of millions of people, it goes without saying that the stakes are much higher than appeasing your own. ego.
Allan concludes by saying, “Loss is an opportunity to learn, become better, and prove to others that loss does not overwhelm you. Losing is painful because we are afraid that others will lose respect for us and our abilities, but if you can safely accept your loss, you will always receive respect, no matter what. ”
Learning to lose is important, especially if you still have a lot of losses ahead. This post was originally published in December 2017 by Nick Douglas and was updated on November 9, 2020 by Joel Cunningham to add updated context and a new header image, as well as align content with the current Lifehacker style.